Angels in hell

Are we just plain lazy?

2010-07-19T22:05:00.001+08:00

How many times have we heard the little voice in us that keep persuading us to take the easy way out from situation? How many times have you succumbed to the little voice and decided to take that little break that, in the end, take away half of your life idling in comfort?

I guess all of us hear this little voice many a time. The difference is that some of us decided to acknowledge the voice as time for a little break and others use it as an excuse to run away from challenges in their life. For myself, I guess life has been too comfortable that I have grown a little lazy. Lazy to look into my life more often, too lazy to look into my finances, too lazy to look into breakthrough in my thought, too lazy to acknowledge and solve things that are going wrong…

I have learnt through the hard way that as easy as it is to be lazy, the price to pay when you finally wake up is double what it should be if you had taken time to look into the challenges when you can. I read a book recently. It says that by ignoring the challenges in our life and indulging in short term comfort, we are actually creating long term pain in our life. Some people can escape forever from jumping from one focus to another as they refuse to face the challenges in their life. They shift focus so that there is nothing to focus on in the end. This means no pain to focus on, no decision to focus on and of course in the end, no dream to focus on and no happiness in life to focus on.

Perhaps the pain involve in facing our challenges is too great, too big that our current mindset and character is not strong enough to handle it. But isn’t it faster to grow muscle by lifting weight that is above our normal threshold? To accelerate a car, shouldn’t we step on the accelerator in order to reach a higher speed? By maintaining the status quo, nothing can be changed. In fact, we will only grow old to finally feel the sense of regret of not doing the things that we should do to realize our dreams. We can only grow stronger by facing harder challenges. Brain muscles grow from facing bigger challenges in our life.

Are we just plain lazy to face these challenges? Yes we are but the more important question is; are we asking ourselves the right question when facing challenges? If we ask ourselves the right question, we would finally realize that there is no time to be lazy. No justification for laziness. No way to be lazy as laziness is deadly. When laziness set in, it claims not only your will to do things. Laziness when allow to breed will claim your dreams, claim your character and finally claim all the happiness you deserve.

So the right question to ask is; can we afford laziness? If you are filthy rich, do you want laziness to claim your right to having a better character or accomplish a dream? If you are young, would you want laziness to claim your youth? Maybe there are people who can afford to be lazy as they are happy just the way they are. However if you look deep within yourself and you can sense a fire in you that still shimmers, would that fire one day die out and you feel that you have lost the sparks in your life, your glimmer of hope, the light at the end of the tunnel?

We are not sure if being diligent will help you achieve your dream but I am sure that if you start indulging in laziness and ignore your dreams and passion, you will have live a life that you are not passionate about as there is simply nothing in your life you can fight for to create the fiery passion.

“What’s life when passion is covered by laziness?”

~James Tan~

Right or Wrong?

2010-07-14T22:41:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the MIA from my blog for soooooooo long. There is always an excuse for not writing in my nice blog for so long. Reason being, I guess I have found someone I can confide all my emo moments in that I have grown too comfortable to write.

However, I guess the laziness has to stop as its time to pick up my momentum. For this blog, I would like to talk about what I have learnt in business over these few months. In the past, perhaps mislead by the propaganda of TV, small little kid like me always think that business is about being all righteous and being there for the client all the time. Success will come from hard work and perseverance. Evil businessman will all crash and burn in the end.

All the ideal business ethics mentioned above only happen in TV, in the very fairy tale that kids indulge themselves in. Business world is not as beautiful as shown in Singapore TV as MediaCorp role is to portray good ethics in front of their wide spectrum of TV audience. In actual fact, the business world is colder than most of us view it to be. Profit is the first language that all business man adopts. Numbers are the measurement for effort. Being nice only happens when profits and numbers measures up.

In other words, the evil businessmen that we see in TV are actually the true form of what businessmen are in the real world. Steve Job sold faulty iphone and is a virtual ass hole. But we still love and embrace his product regardless of his conduct in business. He is still well-secured in his throne in Apple because of the fact that we are supporting his numbers and profits in share holders’ meeting. If being an ass hole get him to where he is and gave the share holder a smiling face when they see the dividend they are getting from their shares, please be assured that he will be Apple CEO no matter how many faulty iphone he is going to create and how many people he is going to screw over.

Professionalism is about delivery and not about being nice. Being nice in business equates weakness waiting for others to exploit. When you curse a businessman for being shrewd and cold, I guess that is actually the best compliment for him. Most of us might actually think that the above mentioned traits of a successful businessman are really bad. In actual fact, they are not even remotely close to bad. In retrospect, it is the best kind of conduct any businessman can have.

Why did I say so? Simply because business is a tough organization to upkeep. Only with rationality, good judgment, seriousness and perseverance can one maintain a business and make profit from it. When I mean profit, I don’t mean keeping yourself away from the bottom line; it means loads of cash that you can allow your share holder to pocket as dividend. Businessman has to be tough and appear as cold as they have to make tough decision without putting any emotion to it. Profits come first as that is the fundamental that any company is resting on.

We can voice our displeasure over any bad business conduct but these conducts are the very fundamental of business survival. Those that are caught with bad business practices are not wrong to do so. They are wrong because they are not smart enough to play the game well and avoid getting caught.

So what am I trying to say here? Bad business conduct is the way to go? Not really. What I am trying to say here is that human are judgmental and would, many a time, judge things based on their own perspective. What is wrong in business in our eyes might be because of a lack of understanding of what it takes to keep a business going. What seems wrong to us is because of the very fact that we do not share the same ambition and situation that others are in. This questions the fundamental question if there is any right or wrong in this world? Or is right or wrong just a perspective based on understanding from our own perspective?

Whatever the answer might be, I have learnt to be more objective. To be focus on getting my goals but not sacrificing my principle to be fair to the people who are fair to me. People grow as they aged and I seek break through every year in my life. Learning to be cold and serious, being an ass hole when need be to get things done might be a thing which I need to master in order to advance professionally in my life.

"What is right and wrong if we are wrong of what is right sometimes?"

~James Tan ~

The Bottomless Greed

2009-12-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

Last weekend was a superb weekend spent at Genting with the company of my lucky star and her friends. It was a relaxing weekend driving up the north south highway travelling at a speed of 180km/h (hard to achieve in Singapore TP infested road)

The trip to Genting will definitely incorporate the visit to the casino and that is where we were most of the time during our stay in Genting. That is also where I have the inspiration to write this blog. My past 2 trips to Genting casino are disappointments as I lost money in the past 2 trips. However this time with my lucky star around, I manage to win some money (thank you lucky star ^^) However the best reward of this trip is not on the winning but the realization of a lesson on human psychology.

Why does most people lose in a casino? Simply because when a person wins, his greed starts to grow and he wishes to win more. When he starts to lose some, he feels that he can win back the amount and win even more. When he loses more till break even, the feeling grow stronger and pride sets in, how could I just settle for such low winning when I have won so much moments ago. Then he starts to lose and he feels like he shouldn’t be losing. And he lost more and just wanted to put in more capital just to break even.

This people ended up as the biggest loser in the casino as they have a bottomless greed that will not be satisfied no matter how much they win. They will only stop when they lost more than they can handle. The casino is not afraid that you have won money from them, in fact they are worried if you have not won money in the casino before. Why is that so? For the simple fact that if you have not win before, you will not experience the good feeling of winning, will not be obsessed in gambling and will not put in big capital to gamble. If you win before, you will have a chance to feel that you can win more and the bottomless greed will lead to heavy losses.

I only know of people who are rational that can win in casino, have never heard of emotional people who will win frequently in casino. The casino might appear as a bad place to most people but it is also the best place to test your personality. It teaches a valuable lesson in life that helps you that will lead you to success if you can grasp the deeper meaning.

The casino teaches us
- In order to win big, you need big capital to handle temporal lost.
- You need to have both guts to jump in the bet and confidence in your analysis
- If you are winning, know when to stop and control your greed. Always remember that you never win until you have cashed in your profit
- If you are losing, don’t fight the situation. It is not necessary to rush to lose, however the more you lose, the more you should control yourself and ask yourself if you are ready to take the small lost and live to fight another day
- In the end, it is abiding to a rational system to use to win and take your winnings and avoid letting your emotion take the better of you
- You can always be excited after you have already won

All the above points only mean that one must be rational and have to be gutsy in order to win. A balance of risk taking and emotion is the key to winning. Only when a person has understand the above points will he be able to control himself and finally succeed in life.

“Take your losses and also remember to take your winnings when it is still there”
~James Tan~

Knowing What You Want

2009-09-02T22:35:00.000+08:00

Some people know from the day that they are born what they wish to achieve, while many others spend the rest of their life trying to figure out what they really want.

I remember reading a book that talks about how people with many ideas end up not going anywhere and some people who are not particularly smart but end up being successful as they stick to one good idea and did not give up even when failing is imminent.

To elaborate further, people with many ideas tends to think of many fantastic and original ideas which are all feasible. However having too many ideas also mean that it is hard to decide and when they meet with a tough obstacle in one idea, they can easily drop the current idea and re-invest their time on another good idea.

Conversely, people who doesn’t have much of a good idea has no alternatives and usually they will work on one single good idea and persistently stick to it as failure would have a big opportunistic cost as they are scared that they will not be able to have a chance to venture in a good idea anymore.

A seed that has the potential to grow into a strong tree does not happen overnight. It has its fair share of weathering tough weathers, competition for sunlight from bigger plants and fighting for nutrients before it can grow to be strong. Similarly, an idea needs to weather through obstacles and stand the test of time and environment before it can blossom.
A car that travels at 60mph does not necessary mean that it will reach the destination faster than a man on a bicycle if it is actually running around from point to point instead of heading straight for the objectives.

It therefore brings to the point that speed is not the key to success. Speed without direction makes things uncontrollable and just make it easier for things to move towards a cliff of failure. Being slow and steady with a firm direction towards the goal in mind will provide a destination and timeline to success.

However creativity does not mean bad as in the short run, creativity in doing things does help people in crossing obstacles and expanding their horizons to reach their destination faster. Having creativity that spurs you nearer towards your goal is tantamount to adding speed to your direction. Hence being steadfast to an idea gives one direction while being flexible and creative in the short run gives speed to the direction and brings a person closer to their goals. Balance is once again the key =)

~Speed with direction comes from the treatment towards creativity~
James Tan

The GREATEST mistake of my life- now…

2009-08-18T22:46:00.004+08:00

Yes the girl above is the greatest mistake of my life now as she has turn my world upside down. How she does it? Crime as listed below
- Verbally abusing me
- Mentally abusing me
- Physically abusing me
- Etc etc
And she happens to be… my gf….
I think she can easily be the girl who abuses me the most ever since I was born because no one has ever abuses me in the magnitude that she has… EVER!
Life is definitely not a bed of roses with her around as it is filled with its occasional irritations and pain inflicted from the above creature.
However, doesn’t everyone grow the most from their mistake?
This greatest mistake in my life also happens to let me experience many new things that I have never tried before. Although she…

- Verbally abuses me

I learn that if you love someone, you don’t need to give the person flattery all the time. Praises given only at opportune moment is sincere and will also give value to the words.
- Mentally screwed my mind

Only a mind that has gone through shit will have the strength to take the ups and downs in life. I think I am not one who likes the comfort zone. Being mentally screwed up occasionally do built up my mental endurance not to give in to emotional roller coaster

- Physically torture
Hmmm… ehhh…. Sorry no excuse for this, this is just pure abuse! Come to think about it, you are so deaddddddddd MS LEE KT if you hoot me again!
………

Ok now back to my blog as my heightened mental strength has allowed me to calm down….
I think everyone needs to make mistakes in their life and this is currently my greatest mistake as I have gotten a terribly frightening thing as my gf. The point is I think this greatest mistake of my life is also the greatest joy in my life now when this thing act humanly and portray her cute fairy self when her nice mechanism is at work.
Hopefully she can maintain this mechanism well and be the sweet thing (as shown below) for optimistically 51% of the time!

~ Mistakes are good ~

James Tan

Support

2009-06-16T22:59:00.000+08:00

I remember posting a blog post 2 years ago on the issue of support. Back then, my business was in a bad shape as I have resolved my partnership with my business partner, my ex-girlfriend left me, my family is not supporting my venture into business and I have piling bills to settle.

The kind of pressure is prompting me to do one thing, give up my dream and look for a job. The comfortable road stares in front of me and even my friends were telling me that giving up the dream is sometimes more practical than to live it and suffer the toil of the journey with no guarantee of success. However during that period of time, I refuse to bow down to failure and accept a mundane life like others. I still have the fire in me and I know I dun excel in admitting defeat.

From then on, I pushed on and my business began to take flight. I start to understand more on how a business work through mentors who help me along the way, guiding me and keeping me motivated. However the business start to lose its beauty when the partner has different way of working and working together is never a joy due to different vision of running the business.

Today, my business is re-forming under a new team with a common idea of how the business should be run. A family who already understand that business is something that I have done and shown some slight success and is starting to support me. Investor who believes in the business and willing to introduce leads to me to expand my clientele base. Past clients who like the way I do things and wanted to work with me again. Very importantly, my girlfriend who shares my woes and willing to listen to my little whining when I am having a bad day in business.

“All you want is people who can support you and allow you to go ahead with what you wish to do”

This simple sentence, simple as it is, reveals a person deep understanding about me which till now I couldn’t feel from any other person… From the hardship that I have endured through the years until finally getting the kind of support from all areas that I have never had before, this road has been arduous and all I seek is just support from all the people around me. Some of my friends have come close to knowing me but not as close as this one simple sentence which show my deepest desire…

However this has never been around to a great extent till 1 month ago where I can finally feel the support that my family, friends, business associates, clients and my team except from my girlfriend Kaiteing… as her support didn’t start a month ago but has never been absent since the day we started dating. Her beliefs in me are always certain and the confidence she had in my ability is unmatched.

And the simple statement above is the proof of her support for me as she knows that deep down in me, all I ever wanted is support from people so that I can put my heart to doing my best without worrying about my back. A very simple request that only she manage to say it with so much conviction. It spurs me to write this blog and reminded me that if one is willing to put in the passion to do what he wants, he will eventually get support to do what he wishes to do.

Of course the road ahead is still uncertain, however at this stage of my life, I know for certain that this is the kind of support that I yearn for and today, I have got it and I will try my best not to disappoint the people who believe in me and to let them know that I am honored to be appreciated by all of you =)

Lastly, Ms Lee Kaiteing, ever since I met you, my life has taken a good turn and I know you are my little lucky star who never fails to make me smile in happiness =D

PS: Don’t start charging me for your job as my Lucky Star hoh, Ms Lee Kaiteing!

~ Support is gain through ability, conviction, perseverance and not forgetting the power of love~
James Tan

Birthday Celebration

2009-05-13T14:35:00.019+08:00

Last 2 weeks has been filled with many events, there is my birthday, my Taiwan trip and mother's day. Finally I am getting a breather and able to write my blog here =)

For this blog, I will be blogging on my birthday celebration. On the day before my birthday, my dear dear has arranged to take me to a restaurant that is located at the hotel at Changi Village. She has seen the place from xia xue blog and even go through the length to literally beg her colleague to tell her where the place is. That's her effort part 1.

Effort part 2 is knowing that she is quite a lazy pig, she go through the length to make reservation at the restaurant after finding out where the place is. After we arrived there, she brought me to one of the most tranquil place to have dinner at. The place is very peaceful overlooking the sea with hint of sea breeze blowing at us.

Image above is taken from the place with my iphone, the black patch in front is the sea and Pulau Ubin =)

We ordered a few dishes and I ate one of the best Italian food I have eaten as it carries my dear dear thoughtfulness in it. The dishes are shown below, they are not well taken as they are taken with my iphone so please bear with it

Impatient dear who is soooooooo hungry and cant wait to eat the food shot

The pasta

Spaghetti

Creammyyyyyy Mushroom soup

Savoury appetizer, well mix of beef, vege and fruits, superb!

After the food, we walk around the area and took some random shots.

We find the reflection of the lift quite nice and decided to take the above ghostly image ^^

After the dinner, went back to dear dear house and she pretend she didn't get me any cake. Oh and in the afternoon when I go meet her for lunch, she still tease me say I do not deserve an expensive cake. Keep insisting that I should have a pandan cake or whatever cake that cost less than $2 -_-

Effort Part 3- When we arrive at her house, I was using my laptop and she took my lap top to her room and I stayed inside. And here comes the clumsy moment, she ask her di di to switch off the light and came in with the cake with lighted candles. As she walks towards me with the cake, the rotating fan blew off the candle and she scream! Lolzzzzz yes this is my clumsy ah gong but very cute dear dear! Then she ran out and tell me pretend they didn't come in and they re-enact a 2nd time and this time the fan is off ^^ I think this is the clumsiest cake cutting session i have ever loh hahahahhaa. Oh ya and the cake is an expensive and delicious chocolate cake, not $2 one haha

Effort Part 4- She didn't give me my present that night and next day morning, when I am using my com, she presented me with my present- A prada wallet ^^. This wallet is really a huge effort from her as months before my birthday, she has already started the research on the best wallet that will suit me.

She thought of LV but my stupid ex-colleague went to Paris and got the exact one for himself! Then she went around town to find the most suitable one for me coz I need one with coin pouch. She told me she has done extensive research, walk around orchard and went to the prada shop 3 times before getting my wallet.

Above is THE WALLET =))

Oh ya and my good brothers also bought me a hi fi which I have requested and even wanted to deliver to my house at 12am sharp on my birthday. Very good brothers I had and we had a good ktv and dinner session on my birthday.

This is really a well-celebrated birthday and I have to thank my brothers for the present. And more importantly to thank dear for the well thought celebration dinner and specially catered for me present. You have really made my 28th Birthday very eventful with your gong gong.... oops I mean cute act and your 4 big effort despite the fact that you are quite a lazy zhu zhu.

THANK YOU DEAR DEAR! LOVE YOU LOTS LOTS!

~ Birthdays are best celebrated with people who loves you~

James Tan =))

Messages of Life

2009-03-30T20:39:00.001+08:00

Hi all, it has been some time since I have blogged as the reason being, I just went for a 1 month reservist and have been busy ever since. Maybe it is also because there is nothing very inspiring that I can blog about.

However last week there was a movie that I had watch that I find that the movie is pretty lame. And after the movie ended I even commented “So lame!” But when I was taking a shower, I recall the content of the movie and find that although the actors and actresses had made the movie look lame, the movie itself does carry its sets of meaning that stirs the mind.

Perhaps the first meaning we can get from this movie is that some times, there are events and happenings that appear stupid and meaningless in the beginning. It doesn’t necessary mean that they are really meaningless, it might be because we haven’t probe deep enough or maybe we have not been equipped with the intelligence to fathom the deeper meanings.

We have to pause our lives at times to reflect on the seemingly stupid things that we have done and how our life would have been better if we can understand the deeper meaning behind the events.

Well hope that you can relate to what I have said. In any case shown below are the 3 messages that I have gotten from the movie and hope you can be inspired by these messages too =)

When things end, they will begin again

Just like the ending of any relationship, when one ended, others will begin again. The end is actually a beginning and the beginning might be leading to an end. No one knows what will happen but what’s most important is to learn from the pain and improve ourselves so as not to repeat the same mistake caused by our personal flaw. Rather, we should learn and be a better person so that we will add value to our lives as well as others.

When you think you have woken up, you found yourself in yet another dream.

Life can be reality and a dream as the reality that you are living now might just be a dream that you wish to indulge in. You know that some day you have to wake up from the dream and face the reality of life. A reality seems like a dream sometimes and a dream might become reality. We really don’t know as we thought we know what we want sometimes but we end up waking up to find that the life that we are leading is not what we want.

And in retrospect, we might be dreaming of achieving something and we do not know that we are actually moving towards our dream, making it a reality. So are you still in a dream in your life that is not real or are you really moving towards living in your dream that will become a reality some day?

If you don’t know who you are, does it matter what you are?

Do you know who you really are? And does knowing who you are now mean that it is what you really are? Perhaps when you do not know who you are and you do things naturally in a subconscious manner, you are actually fulfilling what you really are. Wise men have said that people spend most of their lives figuring what they really are and most of the time they cannot figure out even when they die. Knowing who we are definitely will help us but what makes us think that the self that we perceived is really us? Does following your heart at times bring you closer to who you are?

Well hope this blog have triggered some thinking cells in you =)

Quarrel is positive =)

2009-01-06T21:05:00.002+08:00

This blog post is written for my dear Ms Lee KT who has causes much upheaval in my life making it exciting with its fair share of happiness and anger =). Although I am a peace loving person that hates to quarrel but I have really learn from KT that quarreling does not equate bad.

Constructive quarrel do bring out the discontentment in people that they otherwise will bottle up in their heart. Only when the resentment in one’s heart is shared with the person who causes it will it solve the problem. If not it will just be grievances that stays in a person or hovering around the person’s friend that sometimes magnify the grievances.

Being with KT let me understand that quarreling can be a good thing. It does not really have to turn ugly or bad if both person are able to handle it maturely after the quarrel is done. Maturity and understanding is important as if these 2 ingredients are not in place, things might just gone from bad to worse after the quarrel. And 2 ingredients will bring the relationship to a higher positive platform and they are- forgiveness and improvement. All these 4 ingredients allow a quarrel to turn positive as all negativity are let out and the people involved are allowed to improve through forgiveness and seeking improvements from their natural human flaws =)

Much as I don’t like the notion of quarreling with people but I believe that there is an art behind it that enhances the relationship in between people after the conflict is resolved. Quarreling might not be a negative thing as sometimes human being learn better through mistakes that is being “reminded” strongly from other person through quarrels. Sometimes quarrel is necessary for people to learn mutual respect and also allow each person to let off their most negative self before they can cool down and be positive about things.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to advocate people to start quarreling every time when they have differences. Showing utmost patience and understanding without losing anger is also a vital skill. However not everything works when you try to settle things peacefully. And definitely all things fall apart when you quarrel often with others as you will just be a spitfire that don’t understand logic and don’t seek to talk amicably with others. What I believe is in the balance of being understanding and patient most of the time but quarrel tactfully when necessary to get your point across if the other person simply cannot understand through peaceful means.

However I do have to state a disclaimer, Ms Lee KT, I am not advocating us to quarrel often hoh. For you, you must learn to be more patient and for me I must learn to quarrel tactfully as we are 2 persons of the extreme and must learn to balance. Always remember our motto k- always stay balanced =D. We might have our respective differences like all humans do, but let’s work towards ironing it out and sometimes “quarreling” it out so that we will learn to respect and know each other more in a positive manner bah ^^

“Quarrel is a negative word that can yield positive results sometimes”
~ James Tan ~

Wave

2009-01-06T20:41:00.000+08:00

I was at East Coast last evening and it is fascinating how the sun, the sand and the sea can always give me inspiration to write philosophy. Being there also let me feel how much I have missed the time I reflected at the beach. Watching the wave tapping on the shore, seeing the sun set and watching people blading and cycling. The whole experience is just so peaceful and nice =)

As I was strolling the beach and watch the wave, I was inspired to write about the waves. Looking at how each wave reaches the shore, we know that each wave has its own potential. Depending on the strength and timing the wave arrive at the shore, each wave stretches on a different length onto the beach. But all the waves at one point of time can never stretch further than a certain limit as it has limited potential.

Wave in this sense is just like humans. Confine by their potential at one point of time and limited in the area they can extend their reach. They can never extend further than its potential allows. However human potential is limited only in the short run, their potential expands in the long run just like high tide and low tide, it is just timing =).

Hence each person developed at their individual pace just like the waves. Some goes stronger while others surges lightly. There will also be the exception of people who crashes into the shore like tsunami which greatly extends their potential. Some likes to be the gentle shore that will enjoy the peace and tranquility, never being too adventurous and will just be happy with their lot. Some likes to ride the torrent waves which gives them adrenaline rush.

My balance would be to do radical overhauls at some period and maintaining a stable pace at others. Crashing like a tsunami surges you forward in a fast manner but paces like these comes with its sacrifice. And most of the time, things happen too fast for you to be able to limit your loses and maybe sacrificing things that you really treasured without being able to control it. We know a tsunami destroy houses and also kill sea creatures under the sea. Perhaps the houses and sea creatures that are sacrifice represent your good personality and the people around you? Are they ready for the tsunami of change that you are dishing out to them consistently? However being comfortable is also like staying in dead water that will kill you softly too.

Some events might make us decide to create a tsunami of change in our life but we have to control our direction well and not bring unnecessary damages our own personality and the life of people around us. And positive destruction is necessary to be rid of the negative things in your life in order to make room for the creation of more positive energy in the limited space in you which has unlimited potential

“Be a tsunami that destroys the bad”
~ James Tan ~

Trust Part 2- A subjective item

2008-11-17T19:17:00.001+08:00

How much can you trust a person? Is there such a thing call a complete trust or distrust towards someone? In business, this is the buzz word as trust seems to be a commodity that is really lacking in this world and even more so in business where business interest always precedes personal interest.

Trust also seems to be a subjective thing that changes time to time between people. There is no one person that one can distrust completely or trust completely constantly through time as trust level changes according to situation. From my personal experience, I think there is no one person in this world that you can trust completely with all your thoughts. One fine example is the sharing of a secret. If you are prepared to tell someone then be prepared to know that this will not be a secret anymore as tongue will wag and things will spread.

So in this world filled with distrust, is there anyone you can trust your secret with? Well the answer to me is simple, you can also trust everyone with your secret and interest. Does this sound awfully weird as just before this, I was saying that you cannot trust anyone and now I am saying that you can trust anyone? This may sound contradicting but allow me to explain further.

First of all, let’s understand why we are not able to trust anybody. Any person that you are in touch with has some relationship and communication with you that intercepts both your life together. Be it work, social or family life, all these people share a common set of intercepting communication circle with you that also encompass their personal interest. When personal interest is in play, trust between people will be tested and that is when all trust will be broken and to me at least till now, it also means all trust can be broken as conflict of interest occurs.

However that does not mean that we should despair and be sad as this is just human nature. Some times, people break the trust thinking it is in your interest that they do so and you cannot possibly blame them. It is just a part of life that you have to live with and learn to accept, learning from the experience and playing the game well so that you don’t hurt yourself or others.

Hence, we have established that whenever there is a conflict of interest, betrayal of trust will happen. With this understanding, now we can explain why we can still trust everyone we know. The key is to understand whose interest is at stake in your circle and whose interest are not in it. For those people that have interest in a common issue, trust can be broken when the situation calls for it. And for those that have no interest in the issue, most likely there is no point in them for breaking the trust as it does not benefit them to do so. Hence it is quite unlikely that trust will be broken to these people. So in this case, everyone can be trusted. It is just simple segmentation of your social circle that will simply separate people who you can trust and who you cannot trust based on whether personal interest is at stake.

We are not going to go too in depth in this discussion, like talking about common interest and short term trust as all these have to look into human behavior and is too complex for simple discussion. The point of this blog is just to bring across the simple fact that all humans are selfish to a certain extent when their personal interest is at stake. Secondly, don’t be disappointed when trust is broken as you might do the same thing given the circumstance. Once you have given someone (that share common interest with you) trust, do not expect anything in return as disappointment is definitely possible depending on situation.

From my previous blogs, you would have realized that I like to distort things to make them contradict but will seek to find sense through these contradictions and in this blog I have demonstrate it again. Maybe that is because in this world, everything can be reconciled no matter how drastic they might seem, it is just whether the right time and situation is in play to sort things out. Hence in short, everything is based on conditions at a certain point of time and nothing is certain except for change =)

“Trust is subjective based on situation where personal interest is at stake”
~ James Tan~

No more com****n

2008-10-21T19:20:00.003+08:00

Humans always go into the pitfall of the same mistake over and over again. They repeat it time and again and complain why does the same bad things happen to them time and again. Well, if the same thing happens to you time and again, it means you are the source of the problem. Try to run, try to hide, it follows as the problem is you.

Instead of blaming the whole world, why not change yourself to change your world. I know I always have a major problem that makes my personality bad. That is, I tend to complain too much when I am faced with a problem. In the end, the people that are close to me suffers as they have to hear me complain.

Don’t get me wrong, it is good to share your problem with your love ones and friend. Never keep a problem to yourself. But the problem with me is that my complaints tend to be a little extensive over the same issue. This in turn makes the people around me turn from being supportive to being irritated. Man is not perfect after all, even a saint who listen to too much complaint will be irritated.

I understand this flaw of mine 3 years ago and have started on a quest to change it. However since that was the beginning era of my business, I have indulged myself in improving the other aspect of my personality so as to be a better man suited for business. Learning to be positive when face with challenges is something I learnt through this period and I always face each obstacle with a good mindset that it is for the better. However I just can’t stop myself from complaining about the issue so as to let out my emotional dissatisfaction. To me though, complaining is not because I really feel negative about a thing, it is just a way to let go of my dissatisfactions within me.

Through the years, I have been working on complaining lesser and I have managed some success. And to add on, I have learnt to accompany my complaints with solution so that the problem will gradually be solved. However I think it is still not good enough as my complaints are still too extensive for people to bear. No matter how much people like or love you, when you start to complain too much, they will be irritated- bottom line.

Improvement has always been the key to why I am liking myself more and more, hence I will start undertaking the next big improvement in my life that will kill one of my major flaw; that is, I will start to be factual about issues, don’t put emotion into issues and it will eventually reduce my complaints finally to naught.

Part of the reason why I have written my blog in positive overtone and there are no complaints is because I wish to complain lesser in my life and embrace a much more positive mindset. Although I have achieved success in being positive, I still have more rooms for improvements. I will undertake the next 2 years to kill my complain virus and be a more nonchalant person towards issues. And to focus my emotion and passion in the positive things in life =]

I realized that there is a period of my time that I am really factual about things and tend to complain lesser. That is when I was making time to sort out my issue where I ironed out my dissatisfaction. However as time starts to be a rare commodity due to social and business commitment, I have reduced my date with James Tan. Which might explain why I have growing dissatisfaction too as there are too many pent up issues that are unresolved building in me. Perhaps this can be one of the course that I will start re-taking to kill the complain virus.

I wish myself success in this endeavor… nope… I will succeed in killing this complain virus!

“Com****n will be going extinct in my dictionary from now on”
~ James Tan ~

Converse

2008-09-29T15:48:00.013+08:00

你这样一个女人，让我欢喜让我忧

早知道傷心總是難免的

你又何苦一往情深

深深爱一个人根本不该苦苦压印，

一点迟疑一辈子的悲戚

听，海哭的声音！

叹惜著谁又被伤了心，却还不清醒！

一定不是我，至少我很冷静

愛的地暗天黑都已無所謂

是是非非無法決擇

沒有後悔為愛日也去跟隨

那個瘋狂的人是我　喔

I LOVE YOU 無法不愛你 BABY

爱让人失去了理智

会不会是我太自私

拒绝更寂寞的日子

放不开也看不见未来

难道这种不完美

才是爱情真实的样子

我想就這樣牽著妳的手不放開

愛能不能夠永遠單純沒有悲哀

我想帶妳騎單車我

想和妳看棒球

想這樣沒擔憂唱著歌一

愛雖然很美妙　

卻不能為了寂寞又陷了泥沼

愛要耐心等待　仔細尋找　感覺很重要

寧可空白了手　等候一次　真心的擁抱

我相信在這個世界上　一定會遇到

對的人出現

希望你能爱我　到地老　到天荒

希望你能陪我　到海角　到天涯

如果一切从来　我也不会改变决定

心中是清楚的有一天有一天都会停的

让时间说真话虽然我也害怕

在天黑了以后我们都不知道会不会有遗憾

若是你共情人热切信有爱永远真挚的投入这个梦乡

合著两眼定能遇见那爱侣给你讲出永不老那点真相

我要花兒開個不停陪我們永遠年輕

每朵花代表了純淨的愛情

我要種出一個森林

陪他聽落葉回音陪它看雪花融化了的寧境

天空間飄來的雨從眼裡滑落到心裡

我在懷疑該不該躲你該不該躲這場雨

大雨就要開始不停的下

我的心我的心已經完全的沒有主張

帶我到沒有愛情的地方喔.........

看滿天的星星寫出我心情

流星的風景有你的背影

正好代表著我和你擁抱的生命

你永遠是我命中的精靈

也許雲端裡有精靈竊聽我的心

站在十字路的交点

该怎么走

你能体谅我有雨天

偶尔胆怯你都了解

此刻脚步会慢一些

如此坚决

看着你的眼睛有太多太多泪不停

心疼你每一步爱的艰辛

苦难的梦特别真心

好光陰　縱沒太多

一分鐘　那又如何

會與你　共同渡過　都不枉過

瘋戀多　錯誤更多　如能從新做過

我會說　願能為你　提前做錯

早已沉醉在你暖暖的手掌

緊握住我不放　偷偷的聞著你

帶孩子氣的男人香

呼　我喜歡　就這樣　靠在你胸膛

呼　我喜歡　沒有時間　沒有方向

呼　我喜歡　像這樣　愛的好自然

不用管別人投什麼眼光

隨你帶著我四處的〔去〕遊蕩

Whoever say that conversation has to be in speech has neglected the essence of conversing. Conversation is understanding of the other person's feeling through words and words need not necessary be said, it can be through songs =).

Above is the conversation that I had with someone dear to me and we had converse through the lyrics of various songs to represent our feelings. Maybe to some people this is ridiculous but to me it is the magnefestation of romance as romancing is about putting in effort to seek to communicate one's feeling in an unique way, that others do not.

This is nothing philosophical and if it is, then it is about seeking new ways of communication with someone you treasure and seeing the other person putting in similar effort to magnifest that each of them will put in effort to communicate. Showing that communication is about sincerity and effort to portray one's feeling and not just mere lip service

And to end the blog, I can say that this will be one unique conversation that I will remember as it is poetic to me. There is nothing like this before and maybe never after. The simple moment we converse has reflected our complicated feelings, direct in words, diverse in meanings...

"Communication requires effort"

~ James Tan~

Planting Seeds- Part 2

2008-09-10T19:17:00.002+08:00

It has been a very long time since I have written my last blog as time doesn't seem to be my best buddy anymore as it keeps slipping by the moment. But after seeing my friend Fanny's comment, initially I just wish to post a comment back but as I wrote on, I feel that a blog post will do the reply more justice =)

Fanny, what I feel is that to me random act of happiness in this context are seeds that you have dropped along the pavement. You never know what seeds you have dropped as they are too random and you will start noticing it only when the plants have grown up.

Since you do not know what seeds you have sow, the result can be anything, good, neutral, disastrous, who knows? However planning does not mean that things will go your way but if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. So some planning is better than no planning. The challenge of life thus lies in the fact that even if you plan, you might not get what you want. Hence people might be discouraged from planning too much. And some people just get things that they want without planning.

When we see this, we start questioning ourselves, then why are we spending the effort to carefully plant every single seed when the result is not even guaranteed? To me it is just a game of probability. As you start planting seeds intended for certain result, your percentage of success might be low initially as it is a specific result that you wish to attain. However as you become more experience, you know the technics of doing it and start being able to plant seeds that yields good result with higher probability. However this might take time and most people gave up along the way.

Now let's look at random seeds that we plant along the way. It is always a matter of 50-50, you might win or you might lose as it is just random probability due to no control over the situation. In the short run, you might be better off, as things might just fall on the good side of the 50% which is better than planned intention. However due to lack of control, no improvements are going to be made and results are always undetermined.

Of course some might argue that it is alright to be random, just kill those plants that are not meant to be. Well what if the plant happens to be a bad one that is resilience and highly efficient in reproducing itself. You might not even be able to kill it and it might even grow out of proportion and become a permanent obstacle that obstruct your intended path of progress.

I believe life is a gamble but it must be taken with calculated risk and always improving on your odds so as to achieve the result you want more and more often. So in comparison, it is obvious that I would take the planned path so that life might be hard in the beginning but improvements are always happening as long as I work hard on improving it. Perhaps randomness is too risky for me ^^.

And if you look at another perspective, life is exciting because you never know what you are going to get. And it is more challenging and exciting when you challenge it and when you finally win over it, that is the reward for trying and the satisfaction is what give life its fiery existence- to seek to burn at its brightest.

If life is a journey, living to the fullest means that you have chosen to take up its challenge and have not escaped from the obstacles it have posted you. One only regret his life if he has not done the things that he wish to do due to the lack of courage to face it.

We know that we cant escape from dropping some random seeds here and there, but I would prefer to have more intended results so that my life will overall be one that is filled with beautiful plants. In the end as I look back, a beautiful garden is what that greets me =)

"Intension breeds good result over time with preserverence as fertilizers"
~James Tan~

Plant a seed

2008-07-26T10:03:00.000+08:00

Everyone has a subconscious self that keeps reminding them to do certain things at a subliminal level. Plant a seed in the ground and it will grow into a plant. Similarly if you plant a seed in a person, it will take time before it germinates and grow into a plant.

However patience is the key, if you wish to hurry the growth of a seed, you will only kill it as a seed is delicate and grows at its own pace. Similarly for people, you need time for people to grow the way you wish to germinate, first of all you have to start planting seeds. One day the seed will germinate and all thoughts will start moving towards where you wish for it to expand to.

Different seeds will grow into a different plant, hence be careful when choosing your seed as once it is planted and allow time to grow its roots, it will be harder to uproot the plant.

This can be a good or evil process depending on who uses it and for what means. There is no right and wrong way to do a certain things, in the end it just boils down to whether you wish to do the things for the right or wrong reasons.

“Seeds needs time to germinate, so do results”
~ James Tan ~

Ice & Fire

2008-07-16T20:10:00.002+08:00

You might have heard of the phrase 水火不相容- a Chinese saying that means fire and water can never mixed. But today through a conversation with a lady, I have realized that water and fire can mix and hence ice and fire can mix too. Before you think that I am going to talk about physics, let me assure you that I am trying to drive home a message.

To begin, let me just explain how ice and fire can mix and become one. When you put an ice beside a fire, the ice will start to melt under the heat of the fire. The melting ice will transform into water that will extinguish the fire. If you think that is the end of the story, it is not. As the water, upon touching the fire, will vaporize and the fire upon being extinguished by the water will turn into smoke.

Fire being formless and just a state of energy, ice and water being a matter with a form, both being different state of being can therefore exist under a single gaseous state when they start affecting each other.

So what message am I trying to drive at? Actually this simple “science experiment” is synonymous to how human relationship works. It actually highlights the following points

- Human relationship changes when 2 person interact with each other (Ice to water to vapor, fire to smoke)
- No state in a human relationship is permanent and relationship changes over time with interactions (Ice melts over time)
- All humans despite their difference in character can seek a common point of understanding and existence when a consensus is made (ice and fire being different state can become one common gaseous form)

And what this is trying to tell us is that some people might think that they can never co-exist with other people that are different from them. They choose to stay away from them and have pre-conceived notion that they can never communicate with such people. I would view otherwise regarding such perception. The conflict happens because there are differences between 2 persons and the conflict continue to exist because there is no conscious effort to resolve the issue. And to add on, communications is bilateral and most people thought that they are communicating when they are talking with others, but in actual fact they are just talking but not listening to what the other person is trying to say. Hence no interaction happens and nothing is resolved.

Conflict happens because there are differences in people and not because of the issue on hand. And the way to resolve the conflict is not to hide from it, quarrels might be necessary and temporal discontent might ensue as the differing opinions of each individuals is being put across. These are all normal proceedings but what is important is in resolving the differences and seeking a common understanding after all views have been put across. It is about understanding and respecting the fact that everyone is different in their own way. And through the understanding of these facts, to seek a common understanding that can respect the differences and work out a platform where both individual can co-exist.

Avoidance is not the key to better human relationship, interactions are. Ice did not melt because it shuns fire, as much as it doesn’t like to lose its form, it is necessary for it to give way before it can melt into water that will in turn extinguish the fire. If 2 individuals do not intend to interact and give in, still wishing to maintain a tough stance, it is the same as ice not wanting to melt and hence no change can ever happen.

Hence as long as 2 persons are willing to put in the effort to understand each other differences and wish to seek a consensus maturely, conflicts are sometimes necessary and might even be a good prescription in enhancing human relationship with others. The ingredient for the prescription will include maturity, understanding, respect and most importantly, courage to face the conflict instead of running away from it.

So if there is someone who tells you he or she is a block of ice that is unmoved by things around them, kindly inform them you are one fiery flame that can melt any ice and can co-exist with ice on a higher form =)

P.S: I will melt ice VO_O

“Co-existence is possible between ice and fire with proper interaction”
~ James Tan ~

To Get is Not to have Asked

2008-07-08T21:22:00.001+08:00

Does the subject header sound funny to you? Well it sounds funny to me before but now it has made good sense for me as I realize that there is another dimension in getting things from people.

Ever encountered situations where you ask things from people around you and you get nothing from them in the end? For me it does occur quite frequently and usually it is quite irritating and frustrating, in the end when you finally wish to give up and the thing will start knocking at your door. At that point of time, you might already have lost interest in the thing you have wanted in the first place.

Why do such things occur you might ask? There are a couple of reasons

Generally people
- don’t like to be commanded by others to do things
- don’t like to entertain desperate people
- like to do things only that they feel good about doing
- only do things willingly when they are self-motivated

So by asking someone for a certain things to be done, most of the above rules have been broken. Of course I am not referring to people who are your subordinates or you have power over, the people I am referring to are your peers or people you are not able to force your thoughts on.

And the question now is if you are not going to ask, then how are you going to get certain things done? It took me a while to figure this out also as I just figure it out last week. The way for me is not to have asked at all =). Do you find that a contradiction? Well it is and usually it is contradictions like this that leads to an answer ^^.

Example if you try too hard to ask for deals from your client, you will appear too desperate and they will think that your company is not doing well and hence you are asking for a deal (note this is from a guy’s point of view, gals can sometimes get their way easily just by asking =P) However if you are not going to ask then no one knows that you actually want business from them.

Heard of people who told you to take things naturally and not be too desperate and things will come your way? Well they are most probably right as when you don’t ask, tendency is that people are more willing to give when they want to. And when you ask, it exposes your wants and your wants are your weakness which other people will not hesitate to exploit it and use it against you. So why should be people help you kill your weakness when it doesn’t benefit them? Human nature will thus tell them not to give you what you want and use it as a bargaining chip to give them what they want from you. And if they have nothing you have to offer that they need or you have already offered it easily to them, then sorry it is game over for you.

The way to ask for things is not to ask for it, sounds contradicting right? It is contradicting and I have found out just a few ways not to ask for it but still asking for it in a subliminal level.

- Embedding character- Relate what you want from a third person scenario and perspective
- Drop hints
- Using Reverse psychology, ask for what you don’t want

Of course I am just starting to understand this concept and can’t give in depth analysis of how these can be effectively met out. However I have personally experienced using some of the above mention skill set before and found that it is easier to achieve the desired result I want. Well that means more thorough experimentation but I am sure that it will help me master a potent skill that will ease my life as it will be easier to get what I want and meet lesser objections.

I find that such skills are more necessary when you have to ask from things from people who are in a dilemma of wanting to give the things you want yet having difficulty reconciling with other considerations. To ask will only make the person feel more guilty if they give in and if you do not ask, your intention will not be known. Hence at this point of time, the balance is thus the fine line when you did not ask for anything but have already indicated what you want. I find that pretty cool, hope that you will too ^^

“Get it by not asking- its easier”
~ James Tan ~

Standards

2008-06-18T20:53:00.003+08:00

First of all, I know I haven't been blogging for long. Actually I do have a couple of things that I would like to write on but just cant find the right inspiration to carry on some topics and to me, if I am going to write crap for the sake of writing, then I might as well not write about it till I got the inspiration to complete a decent blog ^^. However I went with my brother in one of our drinking plus thinking session and had an inspiration to write the following blog =D. Pretty cool that my brother can actually inspire me to write a blog based on something he had said! ^^.

My brother commented “Why be so choosy, no one is asking you to get married with the gal, you are just trying it out with her and give each other a chance to see if both of you are suitable”

This might be the reason why most of his girlfriends don’t last more than 2 years… However this does not mean that what he has said doesn’t make sense in my case. I realized that I have imposed a high standard on myself when choosing girlfriend. This is not surprising as throughout my study years, I have the honor of being close to the belle of the school. Perhaps I was being pampered too much that I am not able to court gals that are just average?

Another problem that I have is that I had an extremely loyal mindset in relationship that shrunk my circle of gals that I know when I am in a relationship. I used to have the mindset that going out with other gals when I am in a relationship is an act of disloyalty. However now I felt that going out with a gal does not prove disloyal if no act of betrayal is done.

Maybe because of these 2 reasons, I had actually shrunk my potential network of eligible ladies in my life throughout the early years of my teenage life to young adulthood. My brother was right in one thing when he gave me the comment, I had too much criteria and restriction impose on myself that limited my own choice.

Actually I have already realized these flaws of mine when I am running my business. In the beginning of my business, I have no choice but to take any business that comes my way and will try hard to secure any deals as any deal is better than no deal. Then small deal begin to spin off to bigger deal and when business start to stabilizes, we start to choose who wish to work with and who we do not wish to waste time on. The concept is right as if the business is not the kind you are looking for, do not waste time engaging it for the sake of getting business. However the point that most people miss out is, not doing the business doesn’t mean that one should shut off all communications with the client and try to distance yourself away from them.

Do remember that in the first place, they are the reason for your initial survival phase and had referred bigger client to you that lead to your present achievements. Not doing business with them due to business consideration doesn’t mean not value adding to them by giving them contacts and consultation. It is still possible to maintain good relationship with them.

Bringing to perspective in searching for the right person, the concept is identical. A person who doesn’t have much choice grabs anything that is available and due to the law of large numbers, he will eventually be able to get a good girlfriend one day. A person who thinks he has the right to choose will be choosy and think he is the prize and start limiting his choices and one day will find nothing remains for him as he is overly choosy. I would say that I do have some little charm that makes me a little choosy. And through these lessons I have learnt and referring back to my philosophy in life, the answer still lies within the power of balance.

When one does not choose, he ends up making his girlfriend too valueless as he simply accepts anything. When one is too choosy, he ends up having too limited choice to have any relationship. The balance to me after this realization is to accept all gals in my contact sphere into my life and giving each and single one of them a chance. If they are not suitable, it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends and maintain the friendly terms. Who knows they might “refer” their gal friends to me and voila, it might just work out ^^. The choosy part is therefore on being able to understand yourself on who what kind of gal you would like to be your girlfriend and just not simply accept anything that is remotely near as in the end the relationship will still not last as the love did not start with a good foundation in the first place.

So for now, it will be to expand in connection and zoom in on the specific target but always building on all existing relationship!

“Expand then focus- simple”

~ James Tan ~

The Appreciation of the After-Taste

2008-05-12T11:29:00.001+08:00

Went for wine tasting last week and the session has given me a new insight of appreciating wine (unlike the way I will usually drink wine- which is just to get drunk!)

Here are the fundamental steps to appreciating wine

Look
- Swirl the wine and allow it to blend, look at the color of the wine

Smell
- Allow the wine to cover the interior of the wine glass, put your nose in and smell the aroma of the wine

Taste
- Take a mouthful of wine that is enough to cover your tongue, letting the tongue enjoyed all the taste given by the wine (be it sour, sweet, bitter etc)

After taste
- Swallow the wine, and enjoy the aroma that lingers in the mouth. Good wine lingers longer and gives a pleasant after-taste

Butter
- Have a piece of butter, this is to dull the senses of the tongue as the oil covers the tongue

Second tasting
- Take another sip of wine, now the wine will not be as strong but the taste is more comfortable and pleasnt

Alternative method
- Taught an alternative method to enjoy the wine, by putting the wine in the mouth, swallowing some and leaving a little left in the mouth. Start sucking in air to mix with the wine and retrieving the aroma of the wine down your lungs (might cause choking if not experience)

After learning all these steps, wine doesn’t taste the same any more from that moment as the enjoyment from the entirety of the wine gives a new paradigm to wine appreciation. And through the learning of wine appreciation, I felt that wine appreciation bears similar characteristics of appreciating love.

Look
The initial assessment of a person you like is through the looks. Does the person look pleasant to you? Is she someone that captivates you? Through the looks, an initial assessment of the person is made

Smell
Let’s not be perverted in thought about this, smell doesn’t mean that you practically smell the person and see if you like her smell. To me smell is the feeling the person give to you. Something that is intangible that attracts you, the poise of the person, her character, her charisma etc etc

Taste
Tasting is the stage where you are together with the person and you start to taste the passion of love and the happiness of being together. An initial assessment of how the love is, an experience that might be filled with sweet gratifications, sour taste of jealousy or perhaps plain bitterness as you simply don’t like being with the person

After- taste
This can be represented by the situation when you think of someone when she is not with you, the after taste of love that you enjoy. The feeling of love to the fullest as you indulge in the longing for someone.

Butter
Events that soften the passion, eg like being together for long or some quarrels along the way

Second tasting
Through the events, the passion of love dulls but the taste of love grows smoother and more comfortable as the 2 person start understanding each other and learn to accept each others flaws and values.

Alternative method
That is the stage where a couple tried hard to make the relationship work and to use new ways of loving each other when things get dull. It is a stage of refreshing the love so that new passion ensues and the love becomes stronger and more enjoyable.

Similarly, as I have always drawn the similarity between business and love, the concept can be applied in business as you treat your business as your second wife =). The whole experience gives me a new understanding to the value of the after-taste. How something or someone’s value is actually enhanced and appreciated when they are not around. It is a feeling that is mixed with multiple latitudes of emotions that enhance the feeling of longing. The after- taste is the feeling of love is at its strongest and usually the reason why everyone enjoy being in love.

The butter of love is also crucial as it dulls the passion and let a couple understand what the core of each other is after taking away the fiery passion. It brings out what both of them are and allows the partner to see if after seeing the flaws of each other, are they willing to go forward to try the second, third and many spectrum of events and taste of love.

A love cannot sustain based on mundane and effortless maintenance. It has to be given due diligence to refresh and revive the passion every now and then. So in short, it is about enjoying the entirety of the sweetness, bear with the dullness and making an effort to revive the taste through refreshing methods.

However, this does not mean that the first 2 steps of looking and smelling are not important. They are crucial as they are like a door that you have to cross before you can experience and appreciate the full spectrum of the room of feelings inside.

Wine use to be just a tool to get myself drunk and look “high class” when drinking it, as I don’t have a philosophy to appreciate it. And like love, for people who just wish to be in love without realizing what is the philosophy behind it, is just like a person who doesn’t know how to enjoy wine, they are just doing it for the sake of doing it without much appreciation of the deeper value. Appreciating something, be it wine or love comes with an understanding of the philosophy that sustain it. Having a philosophy to appreciate it so that one can enjoy its sweetness and bitterness. And finally loving it with every moment that passed as the philosophy of appreciating it becomes stronger

Appreciation comes with a philosophy, not just blind tasting

~ James Tan ~

Rationality vs Emotional

2008-04-07T20:15:00.003+08:00

I do believe that everyone has a split self with both sides of them debating on controversial issues every time a decision has to be made. And I always have this issue when it comes to letting people go out of my life. For me there are already at least 3 occasions that I have to fight my emotional self with my rational self where I have to tell someone to leave my life which I completely hate to do so but it is definitely rationally necessary.

The first time is when I have to ask a young guy who is helping my company to leave as he is completely screwing things up instead of helping. I tried to see value in him but know that he is better left employed elsewhere. In the end I let him leave although emotionally I really hope that we can work together to build the company and can’t bear to kill off the dreams of the young lad.

The second time is when I have to dissolve my partnership with my ex partner in business. He is completely self-centered and only cares about his personal interest with only the wish to further his own wealth. It is an obvious rational choice to ask him to leave the partnership as not doing so is equivalent of self suicide for me and my company. Although I made the rational choice but emotionally I was thankful of him showing me the inital ropes of business although it is purely in his self interest to teach me so that I can work hard for the company while he virtually need to do nothing

The third time is when I have to ask for a cool off with my ex-girlfriend as I find that the relationship has lost its fundamental of love and I felt that she is not trying to make the relationship work anymore. And I was undergoing tremendous amount of stress at that moment that I know I might stall her future if I keep her with me by my side. Rationally that is the thing to do as if you love someone, you must let her go and let her be happy. Emotionally I really feel like breaking apart as she is so vital to my life.

Perhaps this is why I am suited for business as I will eventually give in to my rational self when making important decision in my life. However it has also start to leave deep scars in my heart as I look back my life, though I agree that these events had made me stronger too. What trigger this blog is because one of my senior designer told me today that he has to resign and look after his kids. Rationally I have to let him go as his pay allows me to hire 2 designers and more importantly he has no will to stay with us. Emotionally, I feel that it is a pity and I really can’t bear for a talent like him to leave. And guess what, this time round I have to give in to my rationality again…. That part I hated myself for it…..

I think I have to grapple with this split personality part of me as I seem to be strong rationally and weak emotionally as I can see rationality in things yet feel emotionally attach to the things around me. These are all grueling experiences that I would really hope to avoid as much as possible but as I carry on doing business I know such events will only appear more and more often. Guess being in business is about being stronger both rationally and emotionally as one take failure, obstacles, setbacks and disappointment in one’s stride. Whining and complaining will not help matters, in the end all that matters are that you have made a decision you can live with, become stronger and get on with your life ever stronger.

After reading this, you might think life is hard but I would prefer to say life is hard because you choose to face it and resolve the challenges in order to be happier in the future. I am just merely choosing to face the challenges so that I can be stronger, take on bigger challenges, and at the same time handling bigger pain and at the same time higher level of joy. Why do I say that it is a higher level of joy when I am continuously facing challenges despite getting stronger? Well it is simply because if I can take on bigger challenges, I can help those around me to cross their smaller challenges and bring joy to them. I always find that I can speak sense to people and make them see light only after I have cross the obstacle myself. So when I cross more challenges, I will see more and am able to help more people who has smaller level of challenges.

Simple math will thus tell you that if you can make more people happy by being stronger, that will definitely beat just solving your small problem and making yourself happy. As I journey on this road where my rationality will continue fighting with my emotion, I will be stronger and bring more happiness to all those around me. Although this is a arduous road but I know in the end I will have higher level of joy when I can give strength and happiness to more people =)

~ Rational vs Emotion, it is all about facing the facts and making a decision that will make you stronger and happier ~

James Tan

Phase 1 completed

2008-03-28T19:47:00.002+08:00

As mentioned in my previous post, I am going to start starving my company and I have already started the first phase, to increase the pay of the director. By taking away food from the storage then will an individual start knowing that they can not store food at the old rate, they have to look for more food.

I will carry on to document my fly or die phase that I am confident of bringing my company to the next level. Today I went to a seminar and coincidentally my event associates told me that one of my client is having an event on top of the seminar. Along the way to Suntec I saw exhibitions, booth and advertisement. If you saw 10 ads and at least 2-3 of them you are involved in, it proves that you are in the right industry. Today the fact has proven that I am in the right industry as within a fair, I have seen 2 of my client's product (seperate client) and I know that the tide has come, it is time to fly.

I have slept for too long, been procrastinating and pondering on what is James. Now is time to awaken my true self and start soaring to the heaven. The time is definitely right as the company strength is ready, the support is ready and the market is ready, what other time to seize the day?

Today mark the completion of phase 1, phase 2 will be to bring in more big clients and increase the staff strength of AvantGarden and building my dream team. I will find a person to relate my goals to and ask the person to keep track of my advances. Constantly reminding me if I am slacking off. All matters shall take a second seat, now is money making time.

~ Now or never, succeed now and there wil be ever~
James Tan

Starve and you will seek

2008-03-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

Today I experience another paradigm shift.

If you remember, I have mentioned in my past blog that Steve Job once said that all the small things that happen in your life will start to make sense when the dots are joined together. Today is such a day where I have joined many small dots in my life to form another meaningful line in my life.

1 year plus back, a successful boss told me that his formula to success is to buy things he can barely afford and force himself to earn more money to pay for the things he have bought. My brother has a friend that run into a 6 digit debt and managed to make a come back and start earning 5 digits per month after he has cleared his debt. My mentor told me that a company must have proper operating expenses. I went Genting and saw a person who bet $5000 on one hand of poker and was stressed like hell, and a person who gave $2000 to his wife and told her to enjoy herself in gambling while he go to other table to gamble.

So what is the relevance? The first 3 examples are actually pointing to the same fact and that is, when a person is hungry and starving, he will find means and ways to feed himself. The hungrier he is, the more desire he will have to look for more food. For a person who has starved for one day, he will learn to store food for 2 days to avoid hunger. For a person who had starved for 10 days, he will look for food in the future to make sure he will be able to sustain more than a month. The boss is telling a story of a person who forces himself to starve so that he will think of ways to afford his lifestyle. The brother’s friend is forced to look for money as he is already starving and desperately need food or else he will face a life that is near death. The mentor want our company to feed the director more than just well so that the director will know that in order not to starve the company, the company must start looking for more “food” so that it will have a huge fund to sustain its appetite.

So what is the last story telling us? It is simply telling us the fact that do you wish to choose a life where you are starving and have to fight desperately for survival or you want to live a life of abundance where you can spend whatever you want but still being able to sustain your hunger as you already know how to look for lots of food to sustain your appetite? If a person is starving involuntarily, he will fight desperately for food and behave irrationally. If the mindset is wrong, he will eventually die of starvation. If the mindset is one that is determined, rational and carefully strategizes, the person will learn how to get more and more food and will never starve again.

So from a standard human perspective, they would rather be comfortable and try not to starve and learn to save some food for a rainy day. These people will always have the mindset that as long as the life is simple and they get to see food the next day, everything should be fine. These people will have enough to eat but not enough to give to others and have to scrimp and save in order to sustain their lifestyle. Never starving yet never full. That is the state of my company right now as the company has enough funding not to starve the employees and the shareholder, yet it is not maximizing the rewards of everyone as we are in a state of comfort as we know we are able to sustain ourselves. We have forgotten the feeling of starving which made us complacent, however we have also forgotten that in the first place when we started business, it is never meant to be for us to live a comfortable lifestyle that is similar to people who are employed, we started business in order to be wealthy which is why we are taking the risk!

Hence today, I fully understand what these events are all telling me. First, I did not start a business because I don’t wish to starve but rather I want to be filled and having more than enough to sustain my lifestyle, eating whenever and whatever I want. Second I will need to understand what is the lifestyle I want and in order not to starve while living the lifestyle I want, I must know that the reality of starving is not far if I do not start to fight harder and start looking for food more fervently. Third, it is a company mission and not a personal one hence everyone in the company should not live at subsistence level but rather live luxuriously yet fighting hard to sustain the lifestyle.

This might be a preliminary thought but I am documenting it down as it is the direction that I will work towards to set the company financials and sales right by not operating at subsistence but rather operating as a highly profitable company with everyone having a clear goal that they should fight hard enough for food and enjoying the maximum reward of the fruits of labor.

“Starve yourself, feel and know how it is to be starved and start fighting to live an abundant life never ever to be near starvation”

~ James Tan ~

Strength from the Past

2008-03-25T09:01:00.000+08:00

In a spam of 3 months, I have re-visited 2 places that I have gone with my ex-gf before. The funny thing is that I did not re-visit these 2 places with other people during the spam of time I was with her. Perhaps it is the feeling that I do not wish to go to a place where I have visited with her before to mix the fond memories I had with her with other people as I would prefer to allocate the memory of the place exclusively for her.

However ever since I have broken up with her, I have re-visited Bangkok in Feb and just went to Genting over the Good Friday weekend which coincidentally are the first 2 overseas trip that we have taken. The first trip to Bangkok brings back memories of what we have done over there, the shopping, the eating and the massage…. And I really start missing her company as she is really a very good sport when we are abroad, roaming as many places as possible. Seeing familiar scene in Genting, it once again reminds me of the fun I had with her over there. I remember taking a photo at the window overlooking the foggy scenery at First World Hotel. This time when I am back, I saw the same scenery and a warm feeling with a hint of pain filled me. The warm feeling is attributed to the sweet memories I had and the pain is because the person whom I had shared the memory with is no longer my gf. And there is a restaurant that we went to for lunch that I have came back but this time to use the internet service on top of the café. Every thing seems so familiar yet the activities and people I have done and went with are different- 景色依旧，人事已非.

Not that I am unhappy with these trips without her, as I have experienced different events in these 2 trips with different people that I went with. The re-visitations are fun as the food I ate, the places I go, the events that happen and the feeling are all whole new. As I tour the place again, I see familiar places that I have went with my ex-gf and can’t stop being nostalgic about the fun I had when I was there the last time. Going back to the 2 places, I have also realized that as a person mature in life with different mentality, increased financial means, different perspective of fun and changing lifestyle, they will prefer different kind of entertainment. In Thailand, I shop more, ate more and see more scenery. In Genting, I gamble more, sleep less and didn’t even touch the theme park (not to mention this time round I reach Genting in 3 plus hours, going at 180 km/hr and risk my life on the road!)

Too many things have happened since my last visit, and I have grown through the years. The re-visitation is really good as it brings back many fond memories that I had with my ex-gf. It also signifies that I have moved on in my love life as I am prepared to venture back to the same place with different people in my life. I know that although new memories are created but the old one still hold a special place in my heart that will never be replaced. I think these places I came back to is requested by my subconscious as it wants me to go back to these places and pick my soul back. I know I am a sentimental person that always find it hard to part with lost love, which is why I re-visit places I went before whenever I wish to move on.

We have to acknowledge that people change over the years, so do memories as they start to fade as new events happen in one’s life. Going back to these places helps me to preserve these memories so that the person who had once touched my life does not fade over time. I would like to preserve my image of her at that point in time where we had sweet memories so that it will always remind me that we had been happy before. However this does not warrant me to go into the pitfall into thinking that I should salvage anything as since we had both move on, past memories are not reference but just a keepsake of our love. Salvaging a love base on past feelings is unfair to both of us, as it does not reflect our current state of mindset and being. I would love for things to be what they used to be but I know these are just wishful thinking on my part as we have both matured and it can only be salvaged if both of us are willing to try hard enough.

This is just a blog to register my feeling at this point of time and the message it carries is that one should always remember the fond past as a reference that life is not bad at all as there are happy moments that we live in before. However do not get into the pitfall of living in the past as everyone has a past that we have to reminiscence on that give strength to us to live for the future, however if we are not going to move from the past to the future, we will never be able to face reality and live life strongly and meaningfully.

“Your past should give strength to your future, not stopping you from going to your future”

~ James Tan ~

Sleeping in peace

2008-03-19T16:35:00.000+08:00

Heard of people not being able to sleep at night? Well you definitely have or have been one of the victims of such a condition. I have had many sleepless nights before and those are the night where I am too excited of something that is going to happen the next day, or too anxious or simply thinking too much of what has happened today. It is a state of mind that everybody has gone through before.

So if this is so common a state then why am I blogging about it as it is nothing significant and nothing fascinating about it. Well simply because it reflects a state of mind of human that portray unstableness and inability to control their emotion. Why is having stability in emotion important then? Most of the people that I deem capable are all composed and have an aura of steadiness around them. They are unshaken by good and bad news and show little emotion when such news are known to them. This state of stability is not something that is acquired from birth but rather mastered through the many situations that the person has gone through that has become invaluable experience, making the person unmoved by news that they have seen and heard many a time.

A good example of it is that a pauper will not be able to sleep at night if they have earned a million dollar in Toto today and will be too excited to sleep, however the same million when earned by a billionaire in a project will only be too normal an event that can make him sleepless. Sleepless night only occur when an event matters too much to a person and it is seldom that a person will experience that unstable state of mind. Hence at work, in business and in investment, I have heard people who uses being able to sleep at night as a gauge of what kind of risk they can take. Hence being able to sleep at night has become a thing that can measure the capability of a person in a situation and whether he can handle what has happened or what is going to happen.

This gauge has become an important indicator as it represents a person state of mind in making decision. Even business man makes decision that makes them being able to sleep at night to avoid unnecessary risk. However there will always be people who would like the adrenaline rush and the risk that they take for a bigger return. Unnecessary risk is addictive and it will cause a person to be highly speculative when they are addicted to risk. As when they are able to go through high risk once and again, they will think that the whole world is under their feet. Sooner or later they will run into trouble and might result in an avalanche of failures as they lose their judgment and rationality.

Seasoned practitioner in their respective field will in return make calm and collected decision with risk they can calculate and take. These decisions are choices that they have decided that will not cause them to be unsettled and practically lose their sleep at night. Being experience, they are aware of what kind of risk they are taking and are able to bear the lost if the tide turns against them. Experience is the key to giving them the kind of calmness, in retrospective, inexperience makes the amateur in the field unsettled and unable to sleep at night as the pressure is too much to bear to allow them to sleep soundly.

So does this mean that we should always make decision that let us sleep soundly at night and avoid unnecessary risk? Well it is not entirely right also as being uncomfortable is also important as it is the catalyst for growth. As most of the people are not seasoned in the field, they still have a lot to learn and a person who is always performing within their boundary are not testing new grounds for growth. Amateur should practice balance in a bigger sense, meaning balancing decision that will make them sleepless and decision that allows them to sleep soundly at night. Safe decisions are made to maintain the bread and butter in order to sustain the individual. Risky decisions are made to push the frontier to allow the person to go into a new paradigm of experience.

In Sun Tzu Art of War, the essence of victory does not lie primarily on winning wars but most importantly on not losing the war first. Only by being undefeated then can you seize the opportunity to win when the situation presents itself. Hence safe decisions allow a person to be undefeated, but risky decisions are the key to victory. Before we become verse in our art, we have to alternate between making decision that give us sound sleep and sleepless night so that we can sustain ourselves and keep pushing our frontier towards success. In my business, it is the same logic as most of the time in business, it is about playing safe and making decision that will not place the business in jeopardy. However in order to advance the business to the next stage when the business is stabilize in the current stage, it is time to take some risk and sleepless night in order to push the business to a new height. There might be many uncertainties and fear but remaining stagnant will almost surely mean that the business will start deteriorating from competition.

With application to love, lovers in a certain aspect also follow the similar rule. In the long run, love should be filled with not too much of an adventure as this is a sign of being used to the other half as part of your life. Too much surprises set the relationship on a roller coaster ride with your other half thinking if this relationship is ever going to stabilize at all. So balance is once again at play, love should be a thing that allows a person to be able to know that the other half is safely by your side giving you many nights of sound sleep but must be filled with periodical spice to make each other being unable to sleep due to adrenaline from the surprises and maybe something quarrels do spice things up a little =).

Once again this is a blog on balance, as we have to live with both extremes in life in order to strike a balance and happy life. So here’s wishing you many nights of sound sleep and also some sleepless nights ^^

“Risk is opportunity, being sleepless allow you to sleep well and better in the future”

~James Tan~

Waiting (for you)

2008-02-18T21:27:00.004+08:00

Most humans are born impatient when they wish to get things that are beneficial to them.

Impatient to
- Spend their money on luxury product
- Wait in the queue
- Establish their career
- Get attached
- And many more examples

How many people can understand the beauty of waiting for the best moment to happen, to respect the art of fishing and waiting for the moment to enjoy the joy of the reward when it comes?

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”

Who can truly understand this statement and really live a life that rejects temporal happiness and distractions, patiently waiting for the person or moment that takes your breath away and lives you in a permanent state of happiness?

Certainly, this is hard to achieve as people can not predict the future and because of uncertainty, they choose to take what is offered to them presently that they can secure rather than to wait for the thing that they really love as they know that the future holds no promise. Most people will just grab what's around them so that they will at least have something.

My friends and associates said that I have stringent criteria when I am choosing a girlfriend and said that I am asking for the impossible. They are right and this does not only apply to my love life but also to my career. I could have chosen a life of being employed and live an average life as a degree holder. However I don't wish to live a life of accepting the mundane, I like to have a life that is more than just average, if I wish to achieve, I would strive for the best. Which is the reason why I would rather delay my temporal gratification as a salaried worker and decided to wait and farm for the life of abundance that I would like to live as a successful business man. Accepting criticism and lack of understanding from other people, who had preferred not to wait for the moment of success.

I understand that people around me meant well with their advice but the best form of happiness is to give the things that other people want as long as they are things that make the person better if they are able to achieve it. So what if the person has to suffer in the short run while waiting, at least even if they failed, they have lived a life far more meaningful and with flair than those who had accepted their fate. The most cruel thing in life is not death, but rather to live an existence that you had never fight and live for a moment for yourself.

This blog is written not only to substantiate my dream as a businessman but also more importantly, it is about the state of philosophy that I hold now in my love life. There are many options that lie open to me right now and if I wish to, I could have grabbed whatever that I have around me. However I have decided to wait for the girl that had taken my breath away since secondary school. She is from my neighborhood and I only got to be in the same school as her in JC. Why do I have to wait? Well I have to, simply because she is attached. How many people do not get to be together with people they used to love because they are always attached at staggering times where one is single while the others is attached at some point in time and can’t desert their current relationship, due to commitment, to be with the person they wish to be with?

I understand myself as someone who will whole-heartedly love the person I am with when I am attached and will not entertain other thoughts of being with other girls. Which means that unless something drastic happens, I would commit to living the rest of my life with my other half and will not allow other distractions in my love life. With understanding of myself, that is why I am stringent in my criteria. Which is why I am willing to wait for this girl to be single again as she is the girl worth waiting for. Some people suggest that I should go all out to break up the relationship but I think otherwise. As a good girl will bear the same mentality as me, being faithful in their relationship, if they can leave their present relationship to be with you, she can leave your relationship with her in the future when she is “in love” with others again. Hence breaking up the relationship will be futile, and perhaps now I can only take the back seat and wait for things to take it natural course.

So I will wait patiently for this girl and will not let my love for her be a discomfort. The love should be a warming light that will be there for her when she is upset instead of being like a bugging fly that refuse to stop being irritating. If she really get married with her boyfriend then so be it, at least I know I had waited for my dream rather then to live a life of regret. I will patiently wait for the love that will take my breath away. Giving pressure to the person is not loving her, but rather hurting her and one should always try their best to let the person they love be comfortable with you rather than to be stressful with you around.

Falling in love is involuntary and people can fall out of love as easily as falling in love. However love is not about falling into it, but rather how hard you try everyday to love the person you had decided to be with. Hence as I wait, I will try hard to stand by this love and build it with every single seconds that pass by as it is not something that I fall into but rather something I build out of. This philosophy should also be applied in business as falling in love with the concept of business is easy as you just require passion. However it takes hard work to build a business and make it successful.

Love and business should all be showered with attention and should not be fleeting emotions. Hopefully my patience will pay off in the end as I wait for this girl of my dream and will try to keep away from distractions as I wait for her. This is also a good time for me to build up my career as I wait so that I will be able to marry her when this seed of love is being given the opportunity to blossom =)

“Waiting is an art where the moment it happens is more precious than the summation of the entirety of your living years”

~James Tan~

Paradigm shift

2008-02-11T20:01:00.000+08:00

What happens when you have a paradigm shift? You become a whole new being altogether and when you look back, you will smile at your old self and feel better that you have evolved into a better being. However don’t get me wrong, I don’t despise my past as my past are the sum of my experiences that make me a better person now.

I realize that whenever I go through a rough patch in life, I will start evolving and start transforming to a new person, a better one to be specific. My good “buddy” commented that I had changed so much over the years and it always happen after I have gone through some challenges in life. Here I have to say sorry to her as she seem disturbed and sad that she doesn’t understand who I am anymore. If you are reading this blog, do understand that every time that James changes, it will be for the better so that he can be strong and protect those he cares for when the need arises. People will only start not knowing anyone when they don’t bother to and all my good buddy will always know how James has evolved as I will keep these treasured buddies updated =).

Back to the blog proper, I had a couple of paradigm shift that are crucial in my life and below are just some of them

- When I was in the Army and began more humble and able to control my temper
- In NUS, when I realize that education has a broader sense than just what the government say it is and started my path to business
- In the first year of my business where I realize that some things that are not yours anymore should not be kept and learn to let go

And this paradigm shifts begin to happen more and more frequently recently as I start to go through more challenges in business and life. The most recent paradigm shift is something that people might not find that it is a good thing to learn but seriously it really works in business. The new thing learnt is an attitude, the attitude of arrogance. How can this be a good thing to learn as having attitude is obviously bad, as you might be thinking? However nothing in this world is good or bad, it is only how you use it that makes a difference.

So what is the value in arrogance that has made me a better person? As mentioned in the previous post, the master in interactive has taught my team how to execute arrogance that makes your business life easier and make your client happier. He told me that there are 2 instances that he has displayed his arrogance, once when he is in a pitch for a MNC and after 5mins into the pitch, he stands up and tell the client that they are not pitching anymore, “apologize” in being in the wrong pitch and start to walk off with his team. The second instance, he took a chair and threw it on the conference table during a meeting with another MNC.

Guess what, he managed to win the respect of the 2 companies, one decided to listen to his proposal with more zest instead of being arrogant when they started the presentation and the other decided to give them the deal. I am not trying to say that we should be so dramatic while exercising “arrogance”, however this is a good case study of what is called letting your client learn to respect you by displaying some attitude. After 3 years in business, I realize that being nice just make your client more demanding and nastier. As I learnt not to be nice to them just a little, my relationship and business life with them become easier. And recently after listening to the master, I execute great arrogance in one of the pitch. The client was belittling my company and was treating us like a small company, giving little respect in his tone over the phone.

When I went to his office, I sat down and listen to him. After he explained his brief, he asked for the price and I asked him what is his budget? He said $xxxx amount and I immediately tell him that we can’t do the job as the company cannot sustain with such low budget. Quoted him $xxxx X 3 and told him that we can’t value add much as we usually create website with marketing strategy. Told him that perhaps a free lancer or another company can design the site at the price. In the end, he told me budget is not a problem. I replied telling him that I still have to look through the site before giving him an actual price. I went back to office and email him a price of $xxxx X 5 and he accepted. This is a good example of “arrogance” being displayed with the right magnitude, industry knowledge and increased confidence.

Tried the same thing with the subsequent clients that we are ready to let go as the budget is not acceptable and most works, and the company begins its quest to increasing its brand equity. Equipped with the proper level of arrogance, we start transforming the company to a higher class design company separating ourselves from the pack.

However I fully understand that arrogance only allows you to go to the higher level, the way to the highest level is to master the highest level of humbleness. If it sounds contradicting, it is not as arrogance is to push your standing up and make people respect you in a new level. Being humble while you are on the high level will attract more respect from people from all levels as you have already proven that you have made it and yet still able to be humble when you have made it. The controversies in life is thus a formula for success as mastering both ends is the key to success, the key difference thus lies in timing.

Hence a concept will only make sense and work when it is the right time to execute the paradigm shift. Hope that I can master this soon and start going to the humble path again as I know I am arrogant when I am young and might stray if I enjoy this arrogance too much! Hence cheers now for arrogance and a new paradigm shift that will push me to a whole new level =)

“Arrogance or humble, use it at the right time and the controversies will align success”
~ James Tan~

The day of the Master

2008-01-18T00:15:00.000+08:00

Today is really a fascinating day! I met the boss of shooting gallery (Singapore Number One Photography and Commercial Production Studio) and learn the meaning of integrity in the afternoon. In the evening, I meet the boss of one of the top interactive company in Singapore who has given us a valued preposition. Meeting these 2 person in a day may be life-changing to my personal and business development which makes today a day that must be penned down on my blog.

Met Seb of shooting gallery in the afternoon today and have learnt a lot from him. He is the perfect embodiment of the word integrity out of the many people I know. Seb has a hard life when he is young and got cheated from his boss despite the hard work and dedication that he has put in to build his boss business. From there, he told his boss that money can be earned and business can be built through the honest way with integrity. A lot of people has said that business man must be shrewd to survive in the business world but Seb has proven that it can also be done with high level of integrity without having to resort to dishonesty and cunningness. He has expanded his business through integrity and has staffs who go through thick and thin with him.

My description of what Seb has gone through is just an understatement, I think he really is a great person as he has hold through to his believes and survive hardship positively and still come out strong. The humbleness and great passion to help aspiring entrepreneur, treating them with respect has also won my greatest respect. Unlike the many rich people who are the top in their industry, Seb is willing to share and spend his time with entrepreneur like us who is not even well known in the industry. He has inspired me to know that people with integrity can do well in business too and I will aspire to have his level of humbleness when I succeed in business.

The second person I met in the evening is an entrepreneur that has made a name in the interactive business. He was like what I am at now and started with a design company not knowing what to expect. Now he owns an interactive company that can compete with the big players and the meeting with him today might just push my company to the next level. I can’t talk about his name and also his preposition as it is suppose to be kept hush hush, however what we can start to expect is that, he is sincerely going to teach us the way to succeed in the interactive business.

Really appreciate it from someone that has gone up there and yet still wishes to help those that are trying to get to his level. Business is business, he might be looking for some benefit but isn’t it natural for people to get some gains for their effort? Even though so, I am already grateful that he is going to teach us and I will be glad to learn more from him from now on.

Meeting these 2 persons really give me encouragement to move on strong in business as the path seems brighter when people like them who are up there start appearing in your life to inspire you and motivate you on! I think knowing this people and knowing more people of their caliber will definitely improve my business acumen and if I am willing to work hard for it, success shouldn’t be far off. I thank heaven for giving me the opportunity and today is a day that I wish to mark down as it might mark the beginning of my road to success ^^.

Ha ha as I finished this blog, just heard from my business partner that a lady who had close a million dollar sales before wanted to collaborate with us in business! ALRIGHT TO GO DAY!

Always stay positive and good things will appear if you persevere enough
~ James Tan ~

Journey in Life

2008-01-13T20:27:00.000+08:00

Steve Job once said that everything in life that you do has a purpose and will start to manifest itself once all the dots are linked to serve a bigger purpose in life. Looking at my life, I really feel that it is so. The many skills that one has learn that doesn’t seem to make sense at some point in life will start having its use when you have to serve a bigger objective. The principle applies to both business and love.

This time round I will have to pen down a story that I intended for my ex-gf if we are fated to be married. However now it is just a story that will not be delivered and will only be a story that will exist on my blog. I wanted to pen down this story as it aligns my emotional beliefs and also my business beliefs with the idea of believing that every journey and people that appears in your life has a reason to serve a bigger purpose.

So here it goes,

When I was young, I was given many opportunities to learn how to swim. However no matter how many people have bothered to teach me to swim properly, I never managed to even make it for a lap in the pool. Next come army where the torturous sergeant and PTI will drill you to the max to make sure you can swim a lap in the pool. The funny thing is I will always be able to swim near the end of the pool and will not be able to complete the full lap no matter how many times I try.

However the turn of the tide came when my ex-gf went to learn swimming and after she has mastered it, we went on a few swimming trip and with her around, I am finally able to swim one full lap. At that moment, I felt that she is someone that can complete my journey in life just like how she has helped me to complete one lap in the swimming pool. I have made this analogous to a journey in life that you require someone to complete with you, something that you can not complete alone and will only be able to accomplish with a special someone.

As much as man wanted certain things to work out, heaven has not willed it to happen the way you wanted it. I have intended to complete my life journey with my ex-gf, making the end of the pool as the end point of my life that I can voyage with her. I have swam one lap in the pool, but perhaps I am destined to swim more than just a pool, maybe I am supposed to sail the oceans and braved the storm. The moral of the story is to tell us that although things might prove to be hurting and unacceptable at one point of time where you are unable to take the pain and has to live through it, it is perhaps meant to prepare you for better things in life. Which brings me back to the days I was in my secondary school, I got my sec 2 results and am not able to make it to the best class due to my poor math result. To me that is a disgrace as I am always the few top student in class and not being able to go to the top class is an insult. I finally come to terms with it and start working on my math, finally during my O’level result I got a 12pts for 6 subjects, scoring A1 for my math and 3 other subjects. Only then do I realize that it is a blessing in disguise when I did not make it to the best class as it has decreased my complacency and motivated me to work harder for what I want.

I can go through many more examples but I will save on the details. The point is that one must always live with the temporal pain inflicted on them, live positively, learn from bad experiences and emerge stronger thereafter. Some things are not meant for you in life perhaps it is not for you in the first place and is there to complete a small but important journey in life. I read a comic some times ago and it talks about a spirit who was once a genius in Wei Qi (Chinese chess- GO), who has came back to the modern time where only a boy can see him. He guided the boy in the game and wanted to seek the perfect game which he has yet to find even when he died. And one day, he realize that he is not destined to come back in order to complete the perfect game, he is in fact present for the sake of the boy who is in fact having more hidden talent then he has and was back in order to help the boy to complete the perfect game.

It brings to light that certain people in your life appear so that they can bring out a better you and their appearance should be appreciated no matter how short lived it is. Be it your parents, your past relationships, your friends, your spouse, your children and grandchildren. They have all appear in your life to serve a purpose to better your life and your part is to identify why they are in your life that will build you, appreciate their presence and thank them for being there in your life no matter how short it is.

In the other perspective, your existence is also important to other people’s life and you have appeared in other people’s life to bring value to their life. Hence we must be able to understand the value each person in your life has brought to you so that you can enhance your capability and bring more value to the people that you have existed for.

All in all, all these can only be achieved if a person is equipped with the positive belief that all things happen for a reason and they are usually positive so as to serve a bigger and higher purpose in life. Only then can they identify how they can receive from others and give values to others in return. Always believe in the higher purpose and appreciate all those around you =D

“Existence of all is mutually beneficial and life is dynamic for all to learn from each other”

~ James Tan ~

Harsh Reality

2007-12-11T00:32:00.000+08:00

I bleed again…

The story started with my business partner saying that he will be going for a jog today. Finding that as a good idea, I told him that I will challenge him and will jog also despite the rain and a long day at work. Went back home and felt pretty lethargic but a promise is a promise and I went for my jog as agreed (with myself). Running on the wet floor and as I was running down a slope, I slipped and fell down which results in a deep cut on my knee. Blood starts to flow down and I have only completed half of the jogging journey.

There are 2 choices, one is to tell myself that I have injured myself and should take it lightly and walk back home through the short cut. The other is to face the fact that I have wounded myself but it is not going to kill me, I just have to jog back and dressed my wounds when I reached home. Upon my jogging journey back, I start to feel happy that I have taken the fall as I would not have been inspired to start another blog about life and determination. This story of the fall coincides with one of the philosophy that I have learnt in a book but has no inspiration to pen it down and this wound has gained me the inspiration to write the philosophy. And the philosophy is to “Face the harsh reality”

I understand that this is not a significant event to talk about harsh reality but I would like to use this as an example to illustrate human behavior. After taking the fall and continuing my jog, I realize that I have made a choice to continue not only my jog, I have strengthen my determination to meet my objective, I have not blame anyone or anything for my fall and I have treat the fall with rationality as I know that it is just an event and a wound that will heal in due time. The moment after the fall is not a time to complain and curse but rather a time to pick myself up, face the facts and move on. Ignoring the temporal pain which will come to pass and not wasting time to meeting the objective, which is to finish the jog and dress the wound fast upon reaching home.

To me, this incident is a reflection about life. A common incident similar to what life will throw at us. Some people will take a fall and take it in his stride, know what needs to be done at the moment, complete it and start dressing the wound when you have quality time to do so. These people face the harsh reality post by life and understand that there is no point crying over spilled milk. Another type of people will start cursing why they are so stupid as to run when it is raining, curse the wet road, indulge in self pity and give themselves the excuse to rest and break away from their objectives. People who indulge in self pity starts slowing down as they give themselves excuse to be lenient to themselves since they are injured. Some even tell themselves that they shouldn’t do stupid things like this again, indulging in risk adverse behaviors. However they forget that time, people and opportunity do not stop for people. You can lament, you can slow down and you can stop doing it again but if you are defeated by these obstacles, you have failed the test that heaven has post to you. In the micro perspective, you have failed your objectives, in the macro perspective you have allowed yourself to be weak in character because you are lenient to yourself.

I chose to face the facts as 1- the wound will still bleed irregardless if I walk or run. 2- I don’t like to allow myself to be weak by indulging in self pity. 3- It will be better for me to dress the wound at home and hence jogging back is a faster way to take care of my wound. I felt that ignoring the wound and diverting my attention away from it before I reached home is a better choice as I can’t do anything to it when I am outside. It actually carries the message that when a person met with a challenge that will cripple them from advancing, sometimes it is better to endure the pain and move on, only rest at the appropriate time and place once you have finished what that needs to be done as by then not only have you finished what you have been entrusted to do, you have also instilled confidence in the people who believe in you that you will not be beaten by the harsh reality of life and also after the task is finished, you will have better quality time to dress your wound. A wound or an event in life can hurt you but it shouldn’t cripple you and one should bear the pain, move on to cross the challenge, complete your task in life and become stronger in mentality. Putting it in a macro perspective, if your task in life is to be happy, you must learn to endure the sad things that have happened and move on to meet your objective in being happy and when you are in a positive mode then can you dress the wound positively.

People who are weak in character escape from reality, blame everything and use the incident as an excuse to indulge in self pity and escape from what they are tasked to do. People who are strong in character accept and face the reality and complete what they are tasked to do. Some events or people can hurt you but there are also other events and people that builds you that you should work hard for. Why let the events and people affect you from moving on to meet good events further in the journey, and also channel energy to bring more joy to people who loves you. Hence I will close the blog by saying that I will still run in similar condition in the future and not be daunted by a fall, keeping in mind that if I fall again, 1st- it should not be at the same spot, 2nd- it will not be for the same reason 3rd- I will learn from the lesson, take it positively and continue moving on like I have done today ^^

Let not the harsh reality beat you down, rather conquer it and use them to build you up
~ James Tan ~

恕与怒

2007-11-14T23:55:00.001+08:00

When was the last time you are caught in a state of pure fury when you realize that someone has done you wrong or treated you badly which drives you up the wall? Or have anyone that have stepped into your life and left you which makes you feel bad about yourself and cannot forgive yourself? I guess I am not the only one in such a dilemma but just that I am bless by the will of heaven to be able to hear the teaching of Confucius that freed my soul and offer a new lease of energy into my life =).

After seeing the program that touches on 恕 (forgiveness), I suddenly realized that most of my negative feelings are immediately relieved. Life has it that if you think about something hard enough, you will seek your solution. So what happen today is that I went to my client whom I am helping to develop a Chinese CD Rom, and I mentioned about 恕 and she started telling me about the philosophy of the words 恕 and 怒 (anger). And after which I reflected upon what I learnt yesterday and today, and came up with one poem,

恕者如意，怒者奴隶
凡事在心，行事在意
一划相隔，心境千别
一念之隔，可定喜悲

And here is a translation of what I mean in my poem.

Line 1
People who forgive will free themselves in life and find life pleasant. People who hold anger and hatred, will imprison themselves in their own prison as slaves, as they continue to be tormented by their own anger and hatred. Note that the word 恕 bears the word 如 that means you can have your way in happiness and the word 怒 has the word 怒 which means slave.

Line 2
Every emotion comes from the heart, however every emotion is attributed to the way we handle and rationalized things. Note that there is the word 心 under both word of 怒 and 怒 as both words bears its meaning through emotion from the heart.

Line 3
The 2 words are only separated by one stroke of the brush (note that both words are written very similarly but separated in meaning by a stroke). However the single stroke separates the emotional condition of a person by a thousand miles.

Line 4
The difference in emotional condition is attributed to one thought, the thought to forgive or hate, which will eventually separates the person between happiness and sadness.

You might have already noticed that this philosophy actually bear resemblance to my previous post and you are right as this philosophy is an extension to the idea of the power of the choice.

The crux of the word 恕 lies in having the will to let go and forgive, forgiveness for self and others so that one can face the world with happiness and proceed in life with strength. People who live in hate and always bear vengeance, jealousy and ill thoughts continues to be a slave of their past and they will never be able to move on as they are still imprisoned by their past. To move on is thus to forgive. So if you are reading my blog and find that you wish to forgive yourself or others, please do as only by doing so will you attain new found energy as I had and be happy with your life. Relieve yourself of the burden and drop the negative thoughts in the past and bring your positive thoughts with you to the future. Only then will you look at the world differently as you have escaped the confine of the prison that your lower self has created and explore unlimited possibilities as you move on with your higher self.

“Forgive yourself and others, happiness follows after”

~ James Tan ~

New Chapter in Life

2007-11-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

It has been a long long time since I last posted my philosophy in life and business, perhaps it is because everything has been busy busy busy that I did not have a philosophy so compelling enough to blog. Well, anyway this blog is still on philosophy but it is more of a chapter in life that I would like to blog it down as today mark a new beginning in my life and I would like to record this moment down.

Today I left my love in Hong Kong. When the path between 2 persons have split and seperation is a better choice, it is better to bite the bullet and let your rationality control your emotion. I prefered to leave my love behind and take away my rationality back to Singapore not because I have lost faith in the love, but rather to love is to let go and let the person be happy. Although it is sad and heart wrenching yet it is a decision that is relieving and uplifting. Oxymoron you might say, but isn't love about the oxymoron between happiness and sadness? Love is bitter sweat because the sadness to end exist because of the happiness that precedes before.

No matter how hard you try to salvage it, love is not an individual affair where effort from a person is enough. Like the heart where the right side of the heart pumps the blood to the lung to receive oxygen for the body, if the left side of the heart refuse to pump the blood to the body, vice versa, the constitution will still not receive the oxygen to allow it to live and will still die. We have to face that all things will have an end that it has to face, however it is choice that differentiate someone between happiness or sadness when confronted with the end. One can take it bitterly and hang on to the relationship which results in disappointment, sadness, seperation and fear to the other party. Or one can face the harsh reality and face the end with grace, letting the love go and giving both of the person the freedom to move on and be happy. Yes it is hard to face the facts but temporal sadness is better than a prolonged one that might even result to detest.

I chose to free both of us and be happy, choosing to end the temporal love that was beautiful while it last, so that an eternal friendship that is more uplifting can begin. Love is not about hogging someone but it is about giving the best to the one you love. Care and concern does not exist only between couples, sometimes deep friendship can provide more treasured care and concern than couples. Perhaps it is not a digression formula but rather an enhanced formula where I can care for her in other ways that is not imposing and with string attached.

For a love that was once beautiful, the happy moment should remain sweet in the memory bank and it shouldn't be a burden. I wept for today, it is the tears of sadness for the lost of a beautiful love and yet again the tear is also the tear of happiness as it is the beginning of an eternal friendship. Conflicting in emotion yet clarity in rationality. A promise to leave the love behind in Hong Kong, a final time to be sentimental for the relationship.

Towards the end of the flight, the emotion calms down. There is an emptiness in my heart that I have never felt in years. This emptiness can be explained by the fact that the person in my heart has left, it is a void as her image fades. It is perhaps a good thing as now there is space for some other people to filled up the empty space. Some people move on faster than others and I am probably the slower ones as 1 year plus after the relationship has frozen than am I able to confront it and move on. At least the flip side of it shows that I was devoted to the relationship and doesn't give up easily on what I treasured. Leaving it does not mean that I do not treasure it anymore, but it is a sign of strength to move on and focus on the future where new experiences, new things and new people will come into my life and I will have the space to give my love and attention to. As for the beautiful memory, they will be stored in a special place in my heart where it will go down memory lane that continues to be a beautiful history as I have chosen to store it as hapiness.

Does it seem like a love lost guy talking about poetry here? Yes it might be but this blog also carry the philosophy of facing the harsh reality post by life and still face it with fortitude. Choosing to face it boldly rather than avoiding it, choosing to end sadness in order to begin happiness. It is a blog on philosophy that highlight the power of choice, where the strong can choose to be happy and move on in life when life throws obstacles at you. It is about granting people you love the freedom to be happy and relieving them from sadness. It is the philosophy of looking at things from an optimistic angle, and choosing to let a win-win situation ensues where everyone is happy in the long run. It is the choice to believe that love is still a beautiful things and is not meant to hurt anyone but to create beautiful memories for individual to store it in memory lane. Just by the power of choice.

Let me be sentimental one last time before I end this blog. If this is the end point that I cannot carry on loving and caring for her as a capacity of a lover, hope she can find someone who can carry on to love her more than I had which at least had justified that the love had ended in favor of her happiness =). To the memory bank ~ Genting ~ Bangkok ~ Phuket and finally Hong Kong where we begin our new chapter in life as friends.

A new chapter therefore begins in my life as of today as I find new strength to move on... stronger ^^

"Happiness or sadness, it is all about choice"
~ James Tan ~

The other Half- ½ + ½ = Wholesome

2007-09-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

To be successful, the biggest determining factor will be….

Spouse

As the Chinese proverb say，
~ 成功的男人背后都有一个女人 ~

What I will add on is，
~ 成功的男人背后都有一个支持他的女人 ~

What does having a good spouse got to do with your success in life? To put it simply, your spouse is just like the other half of yourself, you will be crippled if the other half of yours does not support and be in synergy with you. If you are running, you would need tremendous coordination of both your legs and you would need great balance from these 2 legs in order to cross obstacles. With just a single leg, you will never outperform the synergism of 2 legs and not to even mention crossing obstacles.

If the metaphor is not vivid enough, let me further elaborate what I mean through more examples. To be successful in business, I feel that one of the crucial factor is not to put too much emotion into business as business is business and personal is personal. Being rational is the key to maintain good judgment and hence committing lesser mistake in business. And what would usually constitute the majority of the emotional upheaval a person can suffer from? Most of it would definitely lies in the strain that your love ones has given you, and the majority of it will be from your spouse whom you will have to see everyday.

Imagine having an unsupportive spouse who always complains to you, does not understand what you are going through, do not offer you advice nor empathy and maybe grow tired of listening to the hardship you are going through. Well how about quarreling and nagging you when you are drained after a bad day at work? How successful do you think a person will be with such “support” from his other half?

~ 先安家后定国 ~

Notice that the proverb states that a person who cant even manage his family cant even dream of managing a country. Drawing analogy to business, it is the same logic. A businessman with a chaotic family will not be able to put in his best in his business and hence will fail on both pillars of his life, namely love and career. Being nonchalant is not good enough, a spouse should be supportive so that the couple can live through tough time with the love emerging much stronger during a crisis. The spouse is the crucial element in a family and a good family begins with a good spouse. With a good family, then a businessman will have more energy to concentrate in business and hence increasing the odds of success.

I had understood this logic from my business associates, whom all seem to fully agree on this point each with substantiations of their own. The mutual agreement is thus that, a businessman must have stringent criteria when choosing his spouse. First of all, it has to be a rational choice before emotional. I have to thank my associate for pointing out what my criteria should be =). My spouse has to be intelligent, supportive and yet do not flirt around. The first two sounds like rational choice but the third looks more like an emotional criterion as which guy can stand a flirtatious lady as a spouse? She further substantiates by saying that it is a rational choice as usually guy would go for beautiful ladies and for me I am definitely into looks. A beautiful lady has the chips to flirt around and a businessman can’t maintain a balance of emotion when he is fighting hard for his career while worrying if his spouse is flirting as he is fighting hard in the business world. Hence it is rational decision too as it will affect the emotional state of a businessman.

So does that mean that businessman should have an average looking spouse so that they don’t have to worry about issues of flirting from spouse? Well my associate feel that is so but I would beg to differ as that is a limiting mindset and having a millionaire mindset means that you must believe in the power of the “and”. Meaning although it may seem sad that a businessman has to have terms and conditions for whom they can love and who they can’t by basing it on criteria, but it doesn’t mean that setting a criteria equals to them not being able to find someone who they would love and yet fitting all these criteria. Which is then the solutions come from a 2 level filtering system where you first qualify those which can pass the rational criteria and you can let your heart take control by choosing the one you like through the 2nd emotional filter.

If you think that love is sad if it has to be so highly regulated, I would say that it will be worse than just sad when you are going through a tough time and have to face an unsupportive spouse which can offer you no empathy nor advice, and much worse having to face divorce. So would having criteria now be a more long term solution to a good life when seen in this light? I would think so. To add on, it is also important for a businessman to search for a potential spouse before they become successful as once they are successful, it will be hard to determine who will go through thick and thin with you.

Some people say that doing business is like having a marriage. You must not put emotion into it which will damage it, yet you have to have so much passion for it that you will love it with all your heart and be able to sacrifice your time and life for it. So perhaps businessman may actually be the group of people who understand and appreciate marriage for what it really is =D. So cheers to business!!!

A good spouse and a good career are mutually dependent. Excellence in both pillars contribute to happiness and success in life

~ James Tan ~

Time to grow again

2007-09-24T23:19:00.001+08:00

Have you ever realize at one point of time that you have begin to know yourself, just to get into another dilemma where you need to decide whether any part of your character is killing or helping you? What if the characters that are killing you are those that help you in the first place? I am currently right smack in the middle of such a dilemma now. And if you think that James is losing himself and feeling perturb, that’s where you are wrong =). In retrospective, I am so glad that I am in such a dilemma! Allow me to continue…

The 4 states of competency,

Unconscious Incompetence
Conscious Incompetence
Conscious Competence
Unconscious Competence

Everyone is stuck in one of these 4 competencies in any specific skill set or character issues. The 1st phase is unconscious incompetence where you don’t know what you are incompetent in. 2nd phase is conscious incompetence where you know what you are lacking. 3rd phase is taking a proactive consciousness to constantly remind yourself to correct your incompetence and requires conscious maintenance to eliminate the flaws. The last phase would be acquiring the competency as a habit without knowing that you are doing it naturally.

A lot of people can’t even transcend the 1st phase as they will turn a blind eye towards their incompetence and some didn’t even realize that they are incompetent. In terms of character, I believe I am entering my second stage as my dilemma comes from the fact that I know what I am lacking, and requires serious thought to reinforce my strength and correct my weakness. Compared to many others, I am lucky that I know what I am lacking and this is actually already a great step towards eliminating my flaws as I have at least know what they are now.

However knowing without doing is as good as not knowing. The crucial subsequent step is for me to take measure to habitually correct my flaws. It is the beginning of another journey to grow and it is not going to be easy as I understand that this is going to be one of my biggest hurdles in curbing my flaw in character. However what can daunt me if I have been constantly showered with challenges which I have confronted with perseverance. Come what may as weaknesses are meant to be faced and defeated.

Hence to me, being in a dilemma is good as at least I am in another learning curve in life where I get to see my weakness which is already a fortunate thing. Let the determination and will power that I have horned over these years be my strength to face and neutralize this weakness of mine and I shall be a better person. In life, both in business and love, we should not escape reality and brutal facts, facing them is the way to grow and escaping only bring recurring pain. I guess what this calls for is going to be another blading session this weekend as I need to make appointment with myself again to discuss how I am going to grow to the next level and summarize my life since the last appointment I had with myself =D

Know the unknown and be unknowingly knowing
~ James Tan ~

The Edge

2007-08-31T00:21:00.000+08:00

There used to be a busy port in Australia where all the fishing boat will unload the fishes that they caught at the pier. Fishes that do not fit certain quality are thrown at the sides where the pelicans at the shore will indulge in the sashimi feast every time the fishes were thrown there. After many years of free lunches, the pelicans start to be comfortable and do not fish for their meal but would rather rely on the constant supply of fish that is supplied by the fisherman.

The port would be a paradise for the pelicans if not for a change of government policy that reallocate the port to another area. Suddenly the supply of fishes stop but the pelicans are still eagerly waiting at the pier everyday for their “free” meal. As days go by, many pelicans start to starve to death, however the pelicans did not go out to the open sea to fish as they have lost their skill to fish and have forgotten that they can fish for food.

Australian government after noticing this phenomenon takes measure to import thousands of wild pelicans to the port and set them free. The wild pelicans after arriving start flying to the open sea to fish. The “port pelican” after seeing the wild pelicans going out to fish for their meal starts going out to the sea to fish for their meal as they are practically starving to death and would copy any skills that their fellow species are adopting to survive. In the end, the remaining “port pelican” survive as they have re-learnt their natural instinct to fish for food.

What is the morale of the story? Simply, it is trying to tell us that we shouldn’t rely on our current comfort zone to supplement our lifestyle. We should always learn to sharpen our competitive edge as a person who survives on his comfort zone will literally starve to death once the comfort zone does not exist. At this point of time, I would like to share my own experience on an event that happened on a particular Saturday afternoon.

One hot Saturday afternoon, a China lady came to my brother in law house to demonstrate the use of a bed vacumn cleaner. The equipment is heavy and she carried it up a 4 story high estate to make a sales pitch. She stays there for 4 hours and in the end not making the sale. My brother remark “She is really persistent and quite pushy in the way she does her pitch eh” After hearing this, I told him he is missing the point. The thing that we should focus on is the determination and deep survival instinct that this China lady has in order just to make a living. With 3 million graduates coming out from China every year, these China people have already developed a survival instinct that is so strong that we Singaporean are not even a match.

This story is analogous to the story of the pelican as Singapore government has imported these China country man to our country to teach us how to sharpen our edge as Singaporean at this era has learnt to be comfortable and we have lost the skill to “fish” and survive. These foreigners are indeed talents as they are here to show us the basic survival instinct that human instinctively possess and Singaporean has lost. Most Singaporean despise these China countryman considering them as inferior, however they have forgotten to look in the mirror and see how will they fare against them if Singaporean and China countryman are placed in a completely new area. I would say most likely, the China countryman will survive pretty well after a few years and the Singaporean might have already starved to death if they have the same qualifications.

Perhaps we don’t have to have such a hypothesis, do you realize people from backward country do score better academically wise and even in the commercial world as sales people. If we do not have a citizenship that gives us better privileges, are we really a match to them? Perhaps not.

However this does not mean that we have to go through what they have go through to revive that edge, after all we are humans and not pelicans. We should learn from these foreign talents on their survival instinct but not working laboriously like them as we do not after all grow up under harsh condition. The way to get ahead and revive our competitive edge is to start using our thought process more to think of better way to fish. Japanese did not win China during the Sino-Japanese war because they have bigger army, they won because of better equipment and technology.

Hence to sharpen our competitive edge, we should learn not to rely on our comfort zone and seek new equipment, technology and work process to ensure that we will still have the fishes we want. What better way to chop a tree than to sharpen the axe rather than using our bare hands, well how about something better, invent the chain saw =)

The competitive edge should always be sharpen, not with mere brawn, but rather with good tools and thought process
~ James Tan ~

Power of Balance- Part 2

2007-08-16T22:08:00.000+08:00

Why is it necessary to get a BMW 5 series? Is it because of its prestige? Is it because of its branding? The true reason lies in the fact that a BMW 5 series is a good car simply because of its stability in terms of balance. The value of a BMW 5 series also simply lies in its ability to maintain its balance.

Why is it important for a car to maintain its balance and how does balance increase the value of a car?

Reason
1- A car without good balance will channel its energy to other areas of the car thus wasting away unnecessary energy. Waste of energy due to a car without high level of balance will also limit the top speed that the car is capable of achieving. So without good balance, not only does it result in unnecessary energy lost, it also limits the car ability to perform

2- Balance in a car brings about smoothness of drive. In the journey on the road, the user experience is crucial and a car with good balance will be able to achieve smooth drive and hence comfortability during the journey.

With these 2 benefits that balance bring to a car, the value of a BMW 5 series is raised and the driver of the car will have a pleasant journey and having the freedom to push the limit of the machine.

Drawing reference from this example, life is also a journey that has to be undergone with balance in order for an individual to achieve a pleasant and comfortable life, and what is even more important is to be able to let oneself perform the best of his ability. It might seem a little too far fetch to compare a car to a human life and hence I shall proceed further to elaborate on why the comparison is valid.

A person life is made up of 3 building blocks, love (family), career (work) and mental (spiritual). All these 3 blocks are essential in life and without which a person will not have a balance life and might find life a drag to live in. This result in an unpleasant journey in life that makes a person feel that life is bad and hard to live. Which coincide with the theme of balance that is essential for comfortability.

These 3 building blocks of life also has their own pace for growth, one moves faster than the other and sometimes people got stuck in one of the blocks in life and will not be able to advance. Even with 2 blocks of life advancing and with just a single block failing to advance in a person's life, a person will start losing energy due to a drain of energy from an unbalance life and will not be able to perform at his peak. This is thus analogous to the idea of maximising a person ability through balance.

With the link established and the importance of balance highlighted, it shows that one's ability to maintain balance in his life is crucial as the person who is able to maintain a high balance in their life will be able to bring out the best in them and find life a comfortable journey.

Seek the balance and illuminate your better self
~James Tan~

Knowing self

2007-07-05T22:05:00.001+08:00

The topic suggests that this is once more a topic on self. Why do I dwell so much into the topic of self, you might ask? Well because as I have mentioned in my previous post (meeting self), to me knowing myself is more important than knowing any other people on earth. Does this sound very ego-centric to you? Well let me further justify for those who wish to hear a little more.

Knowing yourself allows you to know your strength and weakness. Knowing your strength allows you to shine and illuminate the life of people around you. Knowing your weakness restrain yourselves from bringing the worst in you, and hurting all those around you. Hence in retrospective, I feel that knowing self is not an ego-centric behavior but rather an invaluable knowledge so that you can bring more happiness to all those around you as you bring joy to others through your better self and restrain yourself from others by controlling the worse of your character. I hope I have provided some understanding till this point as I would proceed on to talk about the recent discovery of the benefit of knowing self.

I went to a seminar on branding 2 weeks ago and chance upon this book that talks about the different character of human being. The book carries a survey that let you determine what kind of character you belong to. Yes, I have done a lot of personality test and have known a fair bit of who I am. However this book has a more in-depth analysis of personality and luckily for me, a more thorough explanation of my personality as the author happen to be having the same personality as mine and decided to write more on that. You are going to be disappointed as I am not going to reveal my personality to you as I felt that if you are interested, you should discover about me yourself as good things doesn’t come cheap and don't even mention free! =P

What I will touch on is the benefit that I have gotten after knowing myself. I start to realize who I am and why I am so concern over certain issues that will usually get me into trouble with others. My strength seems to be my weakness and my weakness can be my strength if I know what they are and know how to restrain myself from it. After reading the book and knowing in more details who I am, I found a new energy in me. I felt that I have found the key to a lock that holds many chains which binds a treasure chest. In that chest after finding the key is another new found confidence in handling people as I know who I am and how I can bring the best in me in life.

In recent months, I seem to find out more about who I really am and feel that a person who knows who they are, know their mission on earth. When they know their value and purpose in life, they have more confidence and more energy in the things they do. They engage in activities that bring the best in them and they will not fail in these activities as they are natural champion in the arena- 立于不败之地.

A person who knows himself, values himself. When he values himself, he knows his net worth and start knowing what and who has not been appreciating him at his present worth. He stops cheapening himself and start loving himself more. Like a stock who rise when the net worth of a company rises, the demand for the person will also rise.

Why does knowing yourself appreciate your value? It is because you start to kick off your bad nature and illuminate your better self. You found new value and new confidence. Have you come across people who have that natural charm due to his compelling personality and confidence? I guess you might have chance upon people like this and maybe you don’t know why they are so charming although they are not exceptionally handsome. I feel that it is simply because the person knows his worth, value his worth and let others see what they are worth as they know themselves.

In my case, I don’t use to think that I am charming. However as the years go by and after knowing myself more, I start to find the better side of me that attracts people around me. I start building on this positive characteristic of myself and begin to love myself more and more. I feel that human is like a torch and need a battery in order to shine the light they are capable of emitting. This is analogous to a person who is charged with a battery of confidence when they know themselves, and is able to emit their charming light to others. And I realize that people who don’t know about themselves and keep denying their weakness tends not to love themselves. Escaping makes them foul the air around them with their weakness and blind the people around them from their strengths.

I hope I have illustrated the importance of knowing self to you as although you might not agree with me but I know I am living a better life each day as I continue unveiling myself to me. Although I still have many treasure chests that lays sealed, I shall continue to open more of them as I continue my adventure of knowing the most important person in life
- Mr James Tan Han Teck aka myself!!!

Know yourself and you will increase your worth
~ James Tan ~

Appreciated Blessing

2007-07-05T21:14:00.000+08:00

How does one know that they are blessed?
Well you know you are blessed when you think you are blessed. Does this sound too abstract to you? If it does then let me use 2 stories to illustrate what I mean

Blessed Story 1
A business associate of mine received news that his family in Australia just met with a ferry accident. His sister which is an ex-Olympic ice skater was amputated as her condition is in dire state. You might think that she must be devastated over the incident but the 2 sentences that she said summarizes her state of mind

- Wow luckily it only cost me a leg in exchange for my life
- At least now I will be able to find parking space easily and my husband has to buy me the Mercedes that I was eyeing for

Blessed Story 2
A JC friend of mine suffered from an illness and her health is not in good condition ever since. She is a confident lady whose capability far surpassed most of the ladies I know, however due to health condition, she knows that it is not advisable for her to persue her career in the private sector as it may be too straining on her health. She had cried and was depressed when she knows of her condition but has learn to accept it and live life more strongly.

I just went for her wedding celebration and she is now happily married to her husband which is a fine gentleman that fully understands the meaning of love.

Why are these 2 stories related to the subject proper? Let me elaborate further. The ex-Olympic skater didn’t slump into depression when her leg was amputated, she perfectly understands that this incident is not a disaster but a blessing as she manages to live on. She faces life with strength as she thinks and knows that she is blessed as she has managed to stay alive and is still able to receive the care from her other half.

For my JC friend, despite her condition, her humor is still dominantly present and she chooses to face life strongly and happily. She has gone through her tough patch when she learns of her condition, and it is the strength to climb out of the depression that allows her to illuminate her strength and brighten the life of many others. She knows she is blessed as she has not given up to her condition but has accepted it and believing that she can still receive blessing. Believing thus lead to her blissful marriage which I feel is really a marriage that is filled with more than just love, it is a marriage of a genuine appreciation of each other’s existence on earth that have made their lives wholesome.

Hence what I wish to say is that blessing is an appreciation of what you have. If you dwell on things that are already lost and neglect the things that you have, you will never realize how bless you are. So to all of you out there, start counting your blessing by counting the things that you already have and appreciate them.

“Count your blessing as you have none if you don’t appreciate their presence”
~ James Tan~

The metaphor of love

2007-05-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

What is love?

“Love is like a person driving a car, you will never know what is wrong with the car until you drive it long enough”

This is an answer that I heard from my friend as he relates how his friend feel what love is. The statement may sounds pretty fair and reasonable, but to me it is just a person who is disappointed in love and hasn’t found the true meaning of love.

Why is the statement flawed, you might ask? And here are the reasons that I felt is wrong about the metaphor

1- Love is not like a car as you scrap your car after 20 years and it is barely in working condition after 20 years
2- The problem with the car may not be inherent from the car itself, however it may be due to the person driving it that is causing the problem. So the statement shouldn’t just point out the fault from the car but also the driver himself.
3- A car depreciates in value as you drive it but love is something that will appreciate in value if you know how to maintain it

So after pointing out what the metaphor of love isn’t, what is the metaphor of love that you think is right, you might ask?

To me, love is more like…

“An antique watch that grows in value with time with proper maintenance”

Why is this so?

1- Love is something that will appreciate in value as you appreciate your other half more and more through time
2- If ever there is anything wrong with the love, it is because of a lack of effort to maintain it. Hence maintenance of love is important as a faulty watch will stop if it is not properly maintained
3- An antique watch can be passed down over generations, and like love itself, the seeds of love are reflected through your offspring that will pass on love from romantic love to parental love.

The metaphor of love to me is as such but you might have a better illustration of how it is, but whatever it may be, one should appreciate the power of love and should focus more on the positive aspect of it.

“Appreciate what you have to appreciate its value”
- James Tan -

Passion

2007-04-17T00:21:00.000+08:00

“What drives you in business?
It is the passion that I have for business!”

This is the usual response that you will hear from most people in business but most of them are not able to define what this element call passion is. Passion has been so widely and commonly used that people has taken it like a buzz word to show their immense interest in business. However when asked to define it, most of them just cannot come out with any definition.

For those businessmen that do not have a definition, it is because
1- Using passion sounds politically correct
2- They do not have the answer for it and thought that that is the best answer
3- They hear successful people say it and it becomes the holy grail
4- They want to appear to like what they are doing

Although not all businessmen are like this, those who say they do business because of passion and have no definition for it, I would seriously doubt the integrity of their passion.

In a workshop today, the trainer said that his passion in business is explained by
- balding because of troubles from his business
- sacrificing higher pay
but still doing and believing in what he is doing in business

I felt very inspired by what he has said as he has never given up despite I think many other challenges that he has said and he is still able to believe in doing what he is doing by feeding on his passion.

- Starting a business with no knowledge and no skill but just wish to try out business to know people
- Having only 3 hours of sleep for the first attempt on business
- Quarreling with best friend when prompt to give up
- Losing money in the first business and still feel happy for trying
- Sneered by university friends when you tell them that you are doing business
- Giving up pursuing for an honors degree and settling with a Degree with merit- taking the risky route
- Giving up competing with your best competitor in your core subject in order to live your dream, feeling a sense of defeat
- Forsaken an easier life of being employed and getting a stable income with a degree in exchange for an unstable income and worrisome lifestyle
- Had partner in business who make use of your time and effort and living care free life leeching on your effort and sales
- Seeing your peers enjoying their life while you have to scrimp and save when starting up your business
- Learning the ropes of business and seeking your own mentor through trial & errors and lots of failure
- Family who keep asking you to get a job and giving you a hard time when you want to live your dream
- Getting social scrutiny and peer pressure telling you that most people will fail in business and asking you to be realistic
- Adopting concepts and ideals that are different from your friend, and changing your contact sphere in order to adopt an entrepreneurial mindset- bearing the umcomfortability of getting out of your comfort zone
- Standing up on your own and refusing to let fate and environment defeat you
- Constantly taking in insults, scolding, sneering and unsupportive remarks
- Still believing in trust on people despite being betrayed by some business people
- Facing dead end in business when you realize that you have to change your existing state by changing your environment and replacing all the unsupportive suppliers at a single time
- Dipping into a mode of pessimism and losing people that you love as a result as you lose your spirit and confidence

Facing all these for 2 years and at one point of time having to face most of these challenges occurring at the same time while staying firm on your ground and believing in your vision in business. Not giving up and still pressing head on with determination. Crushing all negativity and equipping oneself with positive ideas to keep oneself going. Believing in yourself to climb out from despair, without support and understanding from those that are dear to you.

I guess you can call the person who has gone through all these and still believing in doing business, as having this element called……

Passion….

All those things (but not limited to these) that are stated above are my mental struggle while building my business. The blog is called Angel in Hell as I feel deeply that I am an Angel who wishes to live a carefree life in heaven which is a financially abundant life that I can use money to buy my future time to spend with my love ones. At least providing them a life that is freed of financial problem, which is a big problem to most people, and giving them happiness as much as I can.

However the process is like being an Angel but being sent to Hell first to go through trials and tribunal. Having to endure hardship caused by the various environment and people…. And what's worst, hardship caused by the very people that you love and wish to provide them with a good life. Not understanding is fine, not supportive is acceptable but forsaking and making it difficult for you is unbearable.

Most businessmen died a premature death because of all these factors. Financial hardship does not kill them but mental hardship drains and eventually kills off their passion.

All these being said, it is not to tell you that life is sad and tough but rather it is telling you that life will give you challenges that allows you to prove if you are worthy of living your passion. There is one sentence that has kept me going and maintaining my positivity during adverse time,

“Everything happen for a reason and they are always for the good reason”

This passion that I have earned through these mental torture has taught me to be more self-driven, determined, positive, challenge defeat, face adversity in my stride, handle peer pressure, develop my confidence and having an instinct to survive against the odds and emerging stronger. All these are not possible if I have not met with challenges. I count my blessing in having them as these challenges have made me a better person.

All that being said, I hope I have explained my passion well to you as it is in summary a feeling that is developed with a balance of tears of sorrow and joy, a feeling that is so heartfelt that will be a motivational force in my adventure in business.

PS: Hope that people out there who are trying to live your passion will be motivated to see that you are not the only one trying to live on your passion, so don't be discouraged but instead press on and you will succeed one day!

“Passion is formed from surviving adversity which makes it sweet when you have more of it over the years”

~James Tan~

The Power of Balance- Part 1

2007-04-10T23:56:00.000+08:00

Try talking to someone everyday and they will be bored of you soon, try ignoring them for too long and they will forget you. No salt in a dish makes the dish tasteless, put lots of them in and the dish is horrible. No exercise gives you health problem, too much exercise damage your ligaments. I think I need no further elaboration and you should be able to get my point. Moderation or rather balance is the key to obtaining optimum results in whatever you do.

Some would argue that you should do your best in everything you do, so how does balance come into play in this aspect? Instead of focusing on the short term result of doing your best, we should look at the long term and see how one can achieve his best. To do your best, one must have the energy before he can perform his best. To be at your best, you must have rest to charge up your energy. Looking at it at an even longer term, doing your best is maintaining a result of performance, a marathon of improving everyday. There are people in life who spurs for the moment and after their energy has been used up, they will slump into depression and never rise up again. These people looks good for the moment while it last but they will only live for that moment. Being the best requires you to be consistent with your performance and improving as time progresses.

However this does not mean that the people who perform at their best are performing equally exceptionally well from time to time. There are many balance model to me, here are some examples

1st Model- The Volcanoes
Spur for the moment, used up their energy and take a break. After re-charging, they challenge new heights and commence their next stage of “explosion”
- The Technology model

2nd Model- The Constant
Slow build up of momentum and improving themselves everyday. Does not have impressive moves but definitely progressing everyday and will be the best as time progresses
- The Toyota model

3rd Model- The Wave
Exponential progress as time progresses and once reaching their peak will start smoothing out the curve as energy depletes. Does not need time to rest as they just slow down their momentum and starts building up for the next big wave!
- The Real Estate Model

There may be many other models but what I am trying to demonstrate is that all these models exercise the rationale of balance. They always stay at equilibrium of movement. If they move rapidly, they will slow down, if they move consistently they will be at equilibrium, when they move slowly down, they will build up again.

The To & Fro is like a roller coaster ride and the key to the ride is progress. There are some who are like missiles who only get to rise once and get to crash also only once. Just like a life who has its ups and downs, one must learn how to pick himself up and carry on the challenge of life, always seeking the balance by trying to go back to equilibrium.

At this point, I would like to share a philosophy about balance in relationship. A good life partner is like your balancing machine, they will cheer you up when you are down and bring you down when you are too haughty and arrogant. Hence even in having a life partner is about balance, having that someone who can balance your weakness and your strength, your thoughts and your feelings, someone who can provide you with an alternative vision. Everyone is born not as a perfect being which is why we need the special someone who can balance our life and making us succeed beyond our normal capabilities.

There are people who get together because of differences and there are some who also break up because of differences. This may be because the couples are not able to reconcile their differences and felt that it is an annoyance rather than strength. Maybe they fail to realize that those who keep pointing out your weaknesses are trying to balance out their flaws and they are the ones who truly care about you.

In short life is about balancing, always seek the balance so that you can perform at your best. There are still many things that I wish to elaborate in terms of balance in the way you handle things, balance in business and balance “many other stuff” but this will be all for now as this post is getting way too long ^^. To end off, I will talk about a love story of balance that you may hear of before-

When god created human, there is no male and female, they are wholesome and perfect being. However they split into 2, one male and one female, when they came to the mundane world and has ever since lose their balance in life. Hence they spend their whole life trying to seek their other half so that they can be whole and balanced again.

PS: For you who are reading this, hope you can seek balance in life too =)

Balance your life and you will never be deep in depression or too proud without friends
~ James Tan ~

气势

2007-02-26T00:03:00.000+08:00

First of all, let me wish everyone a happy Chinese New Year. May all of you advance in your careers and everyone prosper in the year of the fiery pig!

During these days, I have been going to numerous “battle grounds” as everywhere I went seems to be a place for either black jack, “dai dee” or majong! You can’t escape from it and the only option is to join in the fun! A re-cap of the result so far

Battle Summary
New Year Eve - $30 Majong
1st day of New Year (1st half) + $150 (Black Jack)
1st day of New Year (2nd half) - $150 (Dai Dee)
2nd day of Chinese New Year (1st half) + $120 (Dai Dee)
2nd day of Chinese New Year (2nd half) Draw (Majong)
2nd day of Chinese New Year (3rd half) +$5 (Black Jack)
3rd day of Chinese New Year (1st half) + $20 (Majong)
3rd day of Chinese New Year (2nd half) + $20 (Black Jack)
3rd day of Chinese New Year (3rd half) + $30 (Show Hand)
4th Day of Chinese New Year + $16 (Black Jack)
Truce Period
7th Day of Chinese New Year (1st Half) - $25 (Majong)
7th Day of Chinese New Year (2nd Half) -$10 (Dice)
Today the 8th +$60 (Black Jack)

Conclusion
1- Majong is not my game
2- Black jack is my game
3- Learn something important through these games and that is 气势

From the many “battles”, I have learnt that gambling is an art that depend very heavily on气势aka aura. A person with good aura will eventually turn the table around and a person with poor aura will start losing more and more. Some may say that there is no science to gambling, it is all about luck. Well luck definitely plays a big part but it doesn’t command the game in the long run as everyone will have their fair share of luck in the long run. Rather the determining factor is the confidence and aura you display during the game.

I realize that the games that I have lost in are results from a poor aura that I have in the game. The realization comes when I lost $150 in Dai Dee. I realized that I was paralyzed by fear when I lost a straight of 13 cards which made me lost nearly $60 plus dollars in a single hand. I started to be very careful and less adventurous soon after and started losing more and more. Dai Dee is a game that I have confidence in as in my younger days, I used to play the game pretty often with my bro and his “expert” friends. After the game, I was pretty frustrated but one important thing that I learnt finally is not to be a sore loser. Who can smile after losing $150? Well I did and told my brother-in-law that he shouldn’t feel bad from winning my money =).

After I have done that, I felt relieved and feel that I have transcend the feeling of winning or losing money. On the third day where we had another game of Dai Dee, I was able to maintain my cool. Although I was losing money initially, I remember that I have to hold my cool and think rationally. Instead of backing up from challenge in the game, I choose to maintain my aura by meeting the challenge. Loses become winnings as I felt that the other players began backing down in their challenge and start making mistake and giving way to my cards. When the game has finished, I learn the importance of maintaining your coolness when you are on losing ground, maintaining your aura in front of others and not backing in front of challenges. After learning this, I start to have my winning streaks as I applied my new found knowledge =)

Up till now, you must be thinking, hey shouldn’t this be a blog on philosophy and business ideology, when has it become a gambling technique teaching blog!?! Don’t worry, I am not intending to stray away from the core of my blog. What I have learnt in these few days is not gambling skill but rather skill on human psychology. From my games in black jack and dai dee, I realize that people make more mistake when they are very concern about winning and losing. Consequently, they began panicky and start making mistakes. Others also start to take advantage of this weakness and use their aura to press you down, making you weaker in times of challenge and your aura weaker.

In business, I felt that it is the same. Clients, associates and competitors are always looking at you and observing your every move. When times are bad for your company, they will see how you will react and gauge you based on these trying times. If you show signs of weakness, you are telling your clients that you can’t handle their business, telling your associates that you are weak and can’t bring them to higher grounds, telling your competitors that you are not up to the mark as compared to them. Consequently, signs of weakness due to poor aura will make your clients reduce their business for you, your associates start giving you lesser support and your competitors will use these opportunities to press you down and get your clients.

During bad times, one should keep his cool and maintain their dominant spirit to win. Monetary lost can crippled the vision of a person and makes him attract the negative aura. Financial handicap is only temporal but it shouldn’t handicap your aura to succeed and win. Business is about confidence, it is the confidence you hold that determines the confidence others have in you. It is the confidence you hold that back down your competitors. When trying time comes, it is a time to prove yourself, hold on to your horses and steer bravely and confidently in the storm. Everyone is watching so no sign of weakness should be shown as any sign of weakness is like a leakage that will sink your ship of success.

Always maintain the confidence to back your positive aura, when everyone sees your confidence and positive aura, the tide will eventually turn and the positive spiral will eventually start to spin to your favor!

“Never back down during bad times as it is the time to prove yourself”
James Tan

Disclaimer: Gambling is still bad and it should be engaged during festive seasons and important times like World Cup =)

Manifestation

2007-01-15T22:32:00.000+08:00

During a New Year Eve celebration with my business associates, we were shown the movie “The Secret”. In a nutshell, the movie is all about how you can manifest your thoughts to transform your dreams into reality. It acts on the theory of quantum physics but I will not dwell further on this topic. If you are interested to know more about the topic, please watch “The Secret” or let me know so that I can share more with you =)

Today, I went to Johore to take a look at the hanger of one of my business associate. He actually asked me to go there to take a look at the establishment as he needs some banners to be designed for the hanger. After looking at his plane and sitting in it, he showed me the property that he is intending to buy there.

The day is another landmark to my life as I felt so inspired to be successful after seeing these 2 things that represent a certain level of high lifestyle. Owning these gadgets would mean that I have achieved a certain level of success and it would certainly be a nice indicator of success. On a separate note, I am not encouraging slogging financially in work to afford these stuffs but rather to increase my spending means and to afford these items with spare cash and with ease. These are luxuries that are meant to be rewards of success and not doodads that are meant to enslave someone financially. It is a reward that will spur me to work harder and drive my business to a higher height so that I will be able to afford luxurious items with ease.

So these are my manifestation and goals that will mark my age in life

A BMW 3 Series – 29 Years old

An Airplane - 30 Years old

A landed property - 35 Years old

My fengshui master told me that I will have a life of richness, a successful businessman knowing “Ziwei Duo Shu” (a method of predicting one’s fortune) said that I have the life of richness with no worries of spending. All indicators point that my life is meant to be well off and although there is no elaborate science to prove the authenticity of such theories, however the mind can never tell what is right and what is wrong, hence these will be my weapon for manifestation and I shall manifest and act on my thoughts to fulfill these goals.

“Manifest with specific goals and action, putting every single cell in your brain to make it a reality”
James Tan

Life's a Kite

2007-01-07T22:36:00.000+08:00

Today is a nice outdoor day with my JC friends, getting the sun and the breeze is really good, meeting and catching up with friends is excellent! So we went to Marina South for a gathering + kiting + makan session. The catching up is good and the makan is terrific however the highlight of the day is on the kiting experience as I begin my philosophical fermentation when I learn to kite for the first time in my life.

For those of you who haven’t tried kiting before, it is really a skill to be able to get the kite flying high into the sky as the way to trap the wind, the time to pull and the time to let go are all crucial to get the kite into the sky. For the first few attempts, we tried to fly the kite individually and it does not really yield good results. Later we figure out that if one of us is to let go of the kite a distance from the person managing the string, the kite has a higher probability of having a good start. After getting the kite to a decent height, it boils down to how you pull and let go of the string to get it higher into the sky. During the process we got cut by the string and wounded our fingers. And with poor management of the string, the kite will make its crashing descend to the ground. Finally, we manage to get the kite soaring to the sky after numerous crash and cuts (YEAH!)

Partnership + Pull + Let go + Wounded + Crash = Soar

This kiting pattern appears to me like a manifestation of life success pattern.

In life, we can have a good head start if we have good partners to assist us in life, be it partner in love, partner in business, partner in all aspects of life. With bad partners who don’t share the common goals and with selfish motives, life is a dread as you will always be tied down due to opposing interest, making one unable to soar to the sky. Support and team work is thus important for one to be successful in life.

Life is also a game of pulling and letting go. When we are pursuing success, we need to know when to pull back on our advances when we are treading too fast as we might not noticed the trap ahead. Pulling back to catch more wind and letting go will make the kite go higher and in life, it will make one soar higher in the ladder of success. Pulling back can also mean resting and letting go can mean letting your team loose to explore their potential, letting your company soaring to the sky as the limit!

As we go through the trials of life, we will be wounded physically, mentally and spiritually in our pursue for success. However one should never be defeated by the transient pain, learn how to avoid being wounded and finally strengthening the area where we have been wounded. A wounded spot will be stronger when it is healed but it will remain weak if your mind does not dare to venture again due to the fear of being wounded. Wounds are unavoidable, fear can be permanent, but a courageous and persistent spirit will make success possible as it conquers all fears.

(Some kites soar while others plunge, only the persistence will soar once again to success)

Life is not a bed of roses and we definitely will face obstacles and failures. As the kite plunge to the ground, what we have simply done is just to pick it up and rocket it to the sky again. Temporal failure does not hinder success, it only give us experience not to commit the same mistake, learn from the mistake and finally climb higher in the ladder of success by trying again and again until we reach success.

Soaring.................................... into the SKY!!!

If we could master the skill of flying a kite and implement the philosophy into steering our life, we could soar to the sky, see new horizons, challenge new heights and reaching new unprecedented grounds!

"Be brave to challenge the sky and soar to new heights!"

James Tan

Meeting Self

2007-01-02T01:00:00.000+08:00

When is the last time you made an appointment with yourself?

Does this sound like an absurd statement to you? Why do I have to make an appointment with myself when I work, shop, eat and commute with myself everyday? Without a doubt, everyone has always been with their own self 24 hours a day and they have never been separated with themselves.

A normal day can start with waking up, washing up, commuting to work, working, commuting back home, eat, watch tv and sleep. A weekend can be waking up, washing up, going out, watching movie, shopping, dining, going home, wash up and sleep. Most people live their life in such routine order and they have never include a very important appointment and that is with themselves.

Getting to the point, what I really mean by making an appointment with yourself is to actually find a time slot where you can get in touch with your inner self. Meeting yourself and getting out of the routine schedule to communicate with your inner self to know what it has to say to you. To put this self into a more physical form, it is actually your thoughts which shaped your discipline, love, happiness, goals, dreams, attitude and all the important element that made up your very self.

“Most people spend their life earning a living rather than designing their lives”

I start to realize the importance of setting an appointment with myself when I started blading. I start to realize that most of my philosophy blogs are written on days where I went blading and was able to sit in front of the ocean, watching and listening to the wave. Surrounded by such serenity, I am able to calm my soul, steering away from all external distraction and start connecting with myself. It is during such time where I start to align my thoughts with my dreams and ponder upon what obstacles is in front of me that hinder me from the happiness I seek. The self appointment allows me to reflect on what I have done since my last reflection and see if I have strayed from my goals, attitude and thoughts.

When a rocket is launched, 99% of the time before it reaches its destination, it will be re-aligning its direction so that it will stay on its course till it reaches its destination. Most people live their life in such routines manner without breaks to re-align their direction in life and they end up like a rocket that will be lost in space, never being able to reach its destination.

I believe in constantly getting a self check to see if I have strayed from my goals so that I can stay on my course towards success in life. The universe to me is contained within yourself as the world is known only by how you perceived it and the universe is just a reflection of your self.

“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still” Lao-Tzu

The whole point I am driving at is to remind people who are stuck with mundane pleasure or work to make appointment with yourself. Without doing this for a long time will result in a person roaming on earth for 10 years and realizing one day that he is still directionless and lost in his own life. Start making appointment with yourself to know more of yourself and you can attain success as you align yourself despite your hectic lifestyle.

“Constantly make appointment with yourself or you end up making frequent appointment with confusion and failure in your life”

James Tan

2006-12-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating my blog for nearly a month as I was busy with the company matters, all the shifting and work has kept me from my intellectual fermentation but here it is, the long awaited blog after so long and it is titled………

Attitude = Magnet = Destiny

2006-12-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

“You do not attract what you want, you attract what you are”

As I was reading a book on inspirational quote, this quote struck me and set me thinking. I start to realize that my course of action has generally attracts the kind of people I wanted to meet. In psychology, an individual will always stick to a group of people who bear similar attributes as them, this is natural as everyone likes to be with people that has either similar personalities, viewpoints, interest, ambitions… etc etc as them. If an individual finds that certain group or person that has differing mindset as them and have no common ground that one can communicate or respect, it will be a matter of time that the individual will drift from the group or individual.

Hence you attract what you are in this sense. I would not wish to discuss in details into the various other things that you can attract due to who you are and will only focus on the people that you can attract in this blog as it may get a little to extensive if the discussion has no specific item to focus on. Apart from the huge scope if I am not going to focus on one item to discuss, the more compelling reason on why I would like to specifically touch on the people you can attract is due to the fact that the people you attract are certainly one of the most important elements that will affect your success. So the blog will center along the human element.

But what has this got to do with the blog title you may ask? Well, it is simply because the attitude you display towards various situations is the reflection of who you are. The attitude will thus determine the outcome of the things you do and will attract the people that like the attitude you display when handling situations. Your attitude will thus become a magnet that draws the people that likes who you are to you. These people that you attract will in term shape your destiny and success in life as the 6 people that you interact most frequently with that are important and close to you will shape the way you think and act.

If you have noticed, this is a cycle that continues to spiral as such

Attitude => Action => Attracts people who like your action => Becomes people that you interact with => Some become people close to you => Reinforce your attitude => New attitude => ……….. finally to your final destiny

So if you have a good attitude towards life, you will do things that reflect your good attitudes towards life which will in turn attracts people with good attitude in life which will further and enhanced your good attitude as you interact more with these people. As this positive spiral continues, you will start to face life with more enthusiasm and zest which are vital element that will aid the destiny to success. In de facto, the reversal is true and person with poor attitude will end up in a destiny of failure as they attracts and mixes with people with poor attitude.

What this means is that in order to change ones destiny, one has to change his attitude as it is the thing that determines who he will mix with and further shaped his action and destiny. And to change ones attitude, he must change his thoughts as thoughts will translates into word that leads to action which will translate into habits, habits will eventually shaped the attitude of the person. If this is getting too complicated, the summarized version is, in order to create a destiny of success, one must first have a positive thought that will create an attitude necessary for success.

Through the years, I have slowly transformed from a very pessimistic person in my earlier years to a more optimistic person as I undergo the different challenges in life. Things become smoother every time I changed a negative thought into a positive one and with more positive thought I adopt, the positive spirals start to become more exponential. The journey in my life is just beginning and there are still many positive thoughts waiting in line for me to adopt and in order to succeed, I will continue to adopt more positive thinking and enhance my attitude so that I could attract people with similar attitude that will influence and help me reach my destiny of success. To all my friends who are reading this blog, hope you can get the gist of what I am saying and start the journey of adopting more positive thoughts together with me and achieve success and happiness that we seek! =)

“Thoughts are powerful and are double edge sword, choose what to think as it shapes your destiny”

James

Life is precious

2006-11-15T21:23:00.000+08:00

Coming back from the client's place, I saw a cat lying on the road. It was struggling and I thought for a moment that it was just lying in the middle of the road trying to catch something in the air. Not until when I was nearer did I feel that there is something wrong with the cat as it was lying there for far too long…

I don’t really wish to go into the details of what injuries the cat has as it is really quite a heart wrenching sight. Anyway I went back to the office and asked my business partners to bring down some newspaper. We went to the road where the cat was, Chris and I went and wrap up the cat and put it to the side walk. This is just to make sure that it will not be run over again by another vehicle…. at least it should die with an intact body….

It was really heartrending and I start to ponder the importance of life. When the cat was struggling, there was another cat watching it as it makes its last struggle. I felt that it was lamenting the fatal injuries that the other cat was inflicted with and it is so powerless to help. Thinking of that, I thought of the issue of life and death. What kind of pain is it if you are in the situation of the cat…. it must really be a pain worse then death… But what kind of pain would it be if you have to watch your close friends, relatives and love ones struggling and dying in front of you and you are so powerless to help….

It was such bothering thought as if I have to watch the people I love die in front of me, I think the pain will be really unbearable as you can’t do anything to change the situation. Then something struck me. Why should we lament if fate has it that a life should end? Death is inevitable for all life and it is something that no life can escape. Instead what we must think of is whether did we treasure and appreciate the time we had with the people we love.

We can’t stop death but we can stop ourselves from not appreciating people around us. I understand that death of the love one will bring pain but it should not bring regret. So to stop ourselves from regretting, please start loving and appreciating all the people that matters around you. Don’t regret when you can’t appreciate and love them anymore

“Appreciate before it is too late”
James Tan

A new horizon

2006-11-13T00:10:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday 4th November, I was looking for a small notebook preferably with blank pages instead of those with lines in it as I don’t like the idea of being confined by boundaries. Went to a few bookstores and found some notebook that are too big and some are the correct size but with lines in the sub-pages. No notebook seems to be able to fit my requirement until finally I found the note book with the perfect size and a perfect sentence on it- Seek new horizons.

To me, this searching event seems to have a story to tell.

=> THE notebook

The other notebook didn’t fit my requirement for a reason as the one that will match has a message to tell. I am at the point of my life that needs to seek for new horizons in every aspect of my life. Old ways and things are not working well anymore and I have to seek new horizon in my life so as to keep my life going to a new level. Being in a comfort zone submits an individual to his fate and making him powerless against his surroundings as he is reluctant to move away from his comfort zone. Well, the comfort zone is not named for no reason as leaving it means hell a lot of discomfort but not leaving it means you will gradually degrade in the comfort zone.

Some people are not prepared to face the discomfort and lose their dreams, passion and self as they cocoon themselves in the comfort zone. The good thing about the comfort zone is that they are guaranteed zero discomfort in the short term. However, after being addicted to the comfort zone, they will not have any strength to leave it once the comfort zone starts to gradually implement discomfort in it in the long term.

Seeking new horizon means pain and discomfort and most people are not prepared to go through it as they are afraid of the momentary discomfort and the risk of not being able to find the new horizon. The strong will however move on continuously to find their new horizon so that they can advance to the next learning curve in their life. They do not let life push them around but rather determine the environment they want by actively seeking for it. They are always ready to move on to a better environment and are not afraid to suffer temporal discomfort.

This is the part of my life where I need to equip myself with the strength to seek my new horizon as the comfort zone had made me weak. Temporal discomfort shall not daunt me as I do not wish to suffer under a comfort zone that weakens my soul. This notebook will thus mark my new journey to the new horizon and had marked the first week of my journey as I penned my feelings wherever I go. More positive things to come as I seek my new horizon and discomforts along the way are just challenges that strengthen the soul!

“Seek new horizons, never succumb to the transient comfort zone”

Healing

2006-11-12T23:08:00.000+08:00

Someone once asks Socrates to be his teacher in philosophy and Socrates put him to a test. Socrates brought him to the sea and submerges his head into the water. After a while, Socrates was still pressing the guys head under the salty water. The guy begins to struggle thinking that Socrates was trying to kill him. As he emerges from the water gasping for breadth, Socrates asks

(S) “What were you thinking when I press your head in the water?”

The guy replied “I thought you are trying to kill me!”

(S) “Then you are not a good philosopher as a philosopher will only think about philosophy in any situation, even in life and death situation”

Guess not many people are able to be a true philosopher then, as the psychologist will at this point of time think of the famous “Fight or flight”, the statistician will think of his probability of survival, the investors on his stocks and shares that aren’t sold so on and so forth.

Well, at least I am not a so bad philosopher to begin with as when I was having a leg cramp during my blading, I was thinking about philosophy too! (although I do not know if I will be able to think of philosophy in a life and death situation) Having some interest in biology, I was also thinking of my lack of salt and as a businessman, I was also thinking about the business opportunity of being able to create a comfi-blade too! Ha ha since this blog is about philosophy, I shall not share the bio and biz aspect but rather focus on the philosophy I got from the leg cramp.

As mentioned, I was having leg cramp and I sat myself on a bench to recover from the pain. The pain was excruciating while it lasted and as I was trying to minimize the pain by diverting my attention to watching and listening to the waves. When the pain subsides, my philosophical fermentation presides. I found out 3 methods to heal any kind of pain, be it physical, mental or emotional.

1- Find diversions to ignore the pain and keep yourself busy
2- Do things that you like to indulge in happiness
3- Time is always the best medicine to any pain

Through this momentary pain, I found that these 3 methods are the ways that I have used to heal the leg cramp and upon reflection, I realized that these are the 3 methods that I have always applied to heal my physical, mental and emotional pain. In the short term, method 1 will ensure that you do not fall into depression by focusing on the pain, do something else to keep yourself busy to build immunity to the pain. Keeping yourself busy is however not sufficient, you need to find the things you love to do and go for those activities to keep yourself happy and positive. In the long term, time will always reign as the best healing medicine. Time can and will diminish any pain, finally immunized and healed the pain.

Time with its almighty power does not only heal pain, it also builds a positive person up to be a stronger person. It makes the positive a better person after every occurrence of pain and be more prepared for the same nature of pain. Not avoiding the same event but rather learning from it and if pain once again occur, one will be prepared to face it. Life is not a bed of roses but everyone should seek their bed of roses and should not be discouraged by any amount of momentary pain while seeking for it.

“Time heals anything and builds a positive soul”

Music heals the soul

2006-11-08T21:55:00.000+08:00

The hustle and bustle of life seems never ending. Everyday when you wake up come exciting challenges and new obstacles to triumph over. Challenges make you stronger but it also tires the soul. Then comes the need to rest the soul and calms the mind. What can be a better calming instrument other than music itself?

Pic Left- My blading accessories (socks, blades, writing materials and MP3)

Last Sunday was my usual blading routine and I arrived at East Coast equipped with my MP3 player. As I blade with the music accompanying me, I felt so relax as I surf the wind and bath myself in music. After an hour of blading, I sat under a tree listening to the sea wave and enjoying the sea breeze. Now I know why I like blading at East Coast while listening to my mp3. I always like the sun, the sand and the sea (sounds like navy eh =P). Every time I need to calm and relax myself, I would choose to go to the sea side. The waves always produce such soothing melody and the sea breeze never ceases to blow my troubles away. Blading beside the shore with music allows me to achieve the same effect and I finally comprehend my inherent love for blading. Well that isn’t all, it comes with the added benefit of keeping healthy as part of the blading package!

Pic Left- the music community

I realize that heaven does have a good sense of humor, when it wants you to realize some things, it will send many recurrent messages to you. Music and the soul continues as I blade back to McDonalds. A performance is going on at the stage area or should I say it is a mass participation? As I went to take a look to see which band is playing the music, I realize that it is the spectators themselves. The musician is giving instruments to all the spectators at the stage area and pulling them to join in the music. It is just simple recurrent rhythm but with so many different instruments playing, the music sure has lots of depth to it. People who doesn’t know each other start to integrate as one under the influence of the music and in an instance, everyone was friends and happy faces filled the stage.

Pic left- Youthful dance (background, cant see clearly though)

I mentioned that heaven has a good sense of humor but did I tell you that heaven is also very persistent in conveying this humor? Yes heaven definitely is persistent as when night falls, I witness another power of music- Music and the youthful energy it gives! At night as I was having my dinner, I saw a group of teenagers gathering at the shore area and they started dancing and singing. I suspect that they are in a dance society or something in that natures as their dance moves are synchronize and well rehearsed. However that is not the thing that fascinates me, it is their vibrancy and spontaneity they manifest when they indulge in their dance and music. Such energy charges the soul of those people around them making them feel like being young again! I for one felt young from their enthusiasm. Not that I am very old to begin with, but it is just a new surge of youthfulness that swept through me as I watched these positive energy emitted from these teenagers.

In summary, music is really magnificent as it not only calms the soul, it unites people and bring out the joy, togetherness and youthfulness in people.

“Music to the soul is like water to the body, it is an essential thing that nourish the soul!”

Fire in the eye (2)- Passion

2006-11-03T23:16:00.000+08:00

This morning will be a day that will determine my company's future as my business partners and I went for a business presentation. If this business presentation is successful, AvantGarden will be able to grow its wing and soar to the sky. Why did I put this post under the title "Fire in the eye"? This is due to a re-current theme and that is the passion in business.

We arrived early for the presentation and were the 2nd and last group of the day to present. We waited 40 mins for the first group to finish their presentation and when they have finished their presentation, we were signaled into the room. After which I heard one of the panel who will be "grading" us said to the other group "Keep the passion for business burning in you"

After which came our turn to present. We handed out our business proposal and on the first look from one of the three panels, he immediately exclaimed "You are designers? But your business proposal looks so business savvy!" We were happy to start off the presentation on the right foot. At the end of the presentation and after the Q & A, we were given 2 comments.

1- We like your professionalism and feel that your business plan is excellent
2- We can see your passion in business and hope you can maintain the passion for your business

YES! Yap we are nearing the finishing line to the 1st stage of expanding our business as we received feed back that the panels are all satisfied with our proposal but there is only 1 minor issue that we need to address and we are there!(trade secret, cant tell what it is to you =P)

After a day's work, I am reading a book and unconsciously start to drift off into evaluating the presentation we had. I knew that we had shown our professionalism and knowledge in the presentation but what is it about us that have made this presentation a success? A word starts to pop up- PASSION! Yes the burning passion shown through the fire in the eye! My business partners and I am business people who have never given up our passion in business no matter what obstacles we had faced.

Each of us had gone through the challenges in business separately in our life and it is this passion for business that has gathered 3 like minded people who has fiery burning passion in business. The business savvy proposal didn't come by chance as we had used our experiences that have been earned through tears and sweat. The professionalism is not part of us, they are learnt from the clients who had reprimanded us for lack of professionalism and the emotional roller coaster we had gone when we didn't perform optimally. We could not have survived and become stronger from all these challenges if not for the passion we have for business that clears off all shadows of doubt we have for business.

The statement from the panel “Keep the passion burning” is something that he feels that is important in any business. For the panel judge himself, he has tried many businesses and has failed most of them but his burning passion is the driving force that has enabled his success in business now. His advice is something that comes from his experience and something that is his core philosophy in business. I think that this does not only applies to business, it applies to anything that we are doing. If we do something with a passion, no challenges could stop us and no temptation can lure us away from our dreams.
SO live a life with passion in everything you do and you will have a determination that is so strong that nothing will discourage you.

"A person with ideas will be inspired and a person with passion will fulfill the ideas"

Learning to Learn

2006-11-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

At the age of 17 when I was in Saint Andrew Junior College, our teacher brought the class to Bishan Park for a class gathering. My classmates and I started to engage in various activities and I was part of the blading group. This is the first time I am blading and apparently, standing up is already a big problem. My teacher Mr Samuel started to teach me the basics for blading and before long I was already balancing and manage to move slowly. “Wow you learn really fast James, you are already balancing and moving!” was the compliment I received from Mr Samuel. That was the first time that I realized, although not having a deep understanding, one of my core strength- Learning to Learn.

At the Innovationation seminar, the director of Oracle said “In life, the most important thing is to learn how to learn” She was saying this as she was an Engineer and never knew how to manage a business. However the most important thing she learnt during the course of her Engineering lessons is to learn how to solve problem. From that, she realizes how important it is for someone to learn how to learn in their life, being receptive and learning new things everyday which equip her for her job as a director in Oracle.

Toyota’s practice is to improve by 1% everyday and you will be more than 1000% better by the end of the year. And now Toyota is the company with the highest revenue in the auto mobile industry just because of this single simple practice. This is a good example of learning how to learn everyday as Toyota seeks to improve themselves by learning new things everyday. The ability to seek out new things to learn and never be complacent with what you already knew is one of the key to success.

Qn: What kind of people are the most frightening?
Ans: Those that improve everyday

No doubt are those that seeks to learn and improve everyday the most frightening people as they will never be the same person every year. They become better and better, becoming a learning machine that is so hard to keep up with.

I used to think that my schooling time is a waste of time as I learn no practical skills in the course of my education. I fail to realize that I was actually acquiring an important skill and honing it every year. With new knowledge that needs to be learnt, comes training on how to remember, understand, decipher and formatting new ways of analyzing the information that is given. Learning new knowledge and seeking new ways to enhance the knowledge given has become a skill that I really treasured as I find that there is nothing that can impair you if you learn the skill on how to learn. Mastering a single skill on learning how to learn will open the doors to all other skills!

“Make a difference in life by learning to learn everyday”

1 degree of difference

2006-10-23T21:54:00.000+08:00

Some people always ignore the small arguments that happen in their life, thinking that they doesn’t matter and will not affect their relationship with others in any way. Those who chose to ignore this 1 degree of difference may be on their way to separating their path from others.

What is this 1 degree of the difference that matters so much?

a

b

For this blog, I decided to use a graphical approach to explain my philosophy. The impact of a degree of difference can be phenomenon. 2 persons with separating view who refuse to give in will start to drift further and further apart. I have used 2 lines (Image B) with one going out to the left and the other heading to the right to represent the separating view, the 1 degree of difference. As time goes on, the path of these 2 persons will start to drift further and further apart and their path in life will never cross. An argument of 2 head strong people who doesn’t wish to compromise will end up like these 2 lines, each going a separate path.

If there is one who seek reconciliation and wish to give in, but the other party refuses to, their path in life will be like those show in image A. The person representing the line on the left wishes to give in and head towards the path of the line on the right, but the person representing the line on the right just doesn’t wish to reconcile. In the end, the path of these 2 lines will never intercept too as this 1 degree of difference has caused a rift between them.

C (just for the record I drew this =D)

Life is about giving and taking. The relationship of 2 persons has to be one that is giving and receiving. Being obstinate will damage any relationship, be it friendship, kinship or courtship. Relationship should be like a rope (Image C) where each person should learn to give in and the other must learn to receive reconciliation. Only then could the relationship be bonded by numerous intersections, making the relationship as strong as a rope interwoven by 2 strong strings of attachment.

Learn to give and learn to receive as both are equally important, don’t let obstinacy damage any relationship as all relationship that is built up over the years is a like a treasure that we should learn to value.

“Give and receive is all it takes”
James Tan

Angels in Hell (Part 3) - Have a firm stand

2006-10-23T02:43:00.000+08:00

After blogging on so many different philosophies, I have come back to my main topic- The Angel in hell.

Have you ever wondered why when you keep letting some people have their way and take advantage of you, they seem to be getting from bad to worse? These people begin to take more advantage of you as you choose to let them be. Your choice of action may be due to the fact that you feel that it is really alright as this people will eventually be touched by your kind intention and finally by the work of your kindness, they will one day understand your kind intention and turn over a new leaf.

Lo and behold, this scene usually appear on TV dramas and in reality, this type of approach generally will be met with failure. Reason being, these people are mostly self-centered by nature, most of them will take care of themselves first and this is not something evil or wrong, it is just a survival instinct. So when you allow yourself to be taken advantage without voicing it out and taking a stand, chances are that inconsiderate people will tend to take more advantage of you.

In life, we are surrounded by some inconsiderate people who only care about their own interest. By being an Angel to them, these people will further develop their selfishness by sponging on the kindness you have given to them. These people don’t appreciate kindness by returning kindness, they only appreciate it by further devouring it and growing their bad nature as they find could benefit from it without resistance. Kindness to these inconsiderate people are just like poison to them, as you give them more, they will be poisoned further and leech on it further.

The solution that I have learnt is to be cruel to be kind, my core philosophy. An Angel in hell has to be versatile as not all people deserve unconditional kindness. When kindness is given to selfish people, they will reverse kindness to badness. By being cruel to them and taking a stand of not sparing any unconditional kindness to these inconsiderate people, we are stopping them from growing more selfish behavior. If you are nice to them, they will only get worse. Being cruel to them entails not giving them what they want unconditionally as these people will not appreciate it. Any kindness to be given to them should come with a price so that they could appreciate its value as they never appreciate unconditional kindness.

Being kind and an Angel in hell necessitate a firm stand. Never let inconsiderate people have their way and take you for granted. Hold your stand and blocked your kindness to them when necessary as giving way to them only develop their selfishness. If need be, fight against their selfish nature and choose confrontation against submission. Good people find it hard to survive on pure kindness, but a good person with a stand of steel will be able to perform kindness with more ease.

In my life, people like this exist and I have learnt to deal with them by taking my stand. It doesn’t matter whether they will eventually appreciate it and learn to be considerate or not, at least I have done my part not to deteriorate their selfish behavior by letting them leach on me. Hopefully one day, they will mend their way and learn not to take advantage of other people kindness. I know I can’t change people but at least I don’t want a part to grow their badness which in turn will bring harm to others around them. To those people who are considerate and always think of others before self [which I am fortunate to surround myself with =)], I feel really happy to have these friends and will never try to take advantage of them. They are to be treated like Angels which I will return their single favor with many in returns.

“Learn to be considerate and appreciate kindness, life is about giving and not about leeching”
James Tan

Opinions- to seek or not to seek

2006-10-23T01:52:00.000+08:00

Everyone has their set of challenges and each has their own way to solve it. Some will seek the opinions of others and some will stick to their own solutions without listening for other people’s opinion.

In one of the episode of the apprentice (can’t remember which one in specific), Donald Trump fired the leader of the losing team simply because he wasted time garnering decisions via voting. To Donald Trump, a leader leads and doesn’t need a vote for opinions, all the leader has to do is to choose a course of action and the team members(followers) will refine the idea and support it. However what is a team if the team acts on the command and decisions of just a single person?

There are also cases of people who don’t like listening to what other people have to offer. They only like their own decisions and don’t care what other people think about it. These people will usually appear to be unfriendly and self-centered. So the best leader will be one with solutions and still listen to the team to enhance the solutions.

Seems pretty clear cut that this is the way in work but does it work in personal life? When faced with problems, do you ask people who matter to you for their opinions so that they could play a part in your life or do you just box yourself with the problem and constrain the problem to yourself? Neither seems right and balance is the key in my perspective.

Yes, people will start responding to your problem initially by enthusiastically looking for solutions for you. However as you start pouring your mountains of problem on them to ask for their opinions, they will start to feel irritated and feel that you are problematic. If you don’t share your problems and box yourself up, you will distance yourself from others as they find it hard to understand you as you have boxed up your troubles and feelings.

Now this is tricky. I feel that the way to balance this issue is to share your problems with people that matters to you, but share it wisely. Without a doubt you should share your daily problems and experiences with people but don’t start pouring your problems onto them as they are humans and have their own sets of problem too. The way to do it, in my perspective is to share your problems but only when you have the solutions yourself. In this way, you are sharing your problems and feelings, and not imposing on others to solve your problems. People don’t like to listen to mountains of problems unless you have the solutions. With solution in mind while discussing problem, it becomes an educating process instead of a torturous one. The person listening to it may even add on to the solution and eagerly participate in solving the problem.

Then again, the best situation is not to share only the problem but also the interesting things that happened in a day so that any conversation will not be always gloomy. If there is a problem that needs to be solved, look for a solution before discussing it. And please solve the problem after the discussion and don’t repeatedly discuss the same problem or else it will still create irritations in the long run.

This solution appears to me as being too hard to accept at first as I felt that why can’t I share my problem with these people and solve it together with them? In this case, aren’t I letting them participate in my life? Then I rationalize it and understand that sharing problems doesn’t mean imposing it on others, be considerate to these people as they matters. Don’t throw your mountains of grievances on them and crushed them.

“Problem are best discussed with solutions already in hand”
James Tan

ECP Trilogy Part 3 – “一起走”

2006-10-23T00:10:00.000+08:00

Part 3 begins

I was heading home from ECP by taking bus 16 and alighting at Tiong Bahru so that I could take a stroll home via SGH. On my way up the slope of SGH, an old couple walks towards me and I heard the aunty said “一起走到地铁站吧” This is just a simple sentence, but I felt that there is a deeper meaning to the message.

By walking to the MRT together, the old couples, who may be friends, are providing companionship to each other. It is a simple walk to the MRT station but without another person by your side, one would usually find the journey lonely and long. With someone by your side to talk to you as you go to your destination, the journey will be easier and delighting.

A simple sentence it is but a profound feeling it evokes. There are always reasons for everything that has happened and they always happen for a good reason. This old couples are highlighting, in my own interpretation, the value of friendship. As the day draws to an end which I have spent it with my good buddy, this is really a good sentence to end this philosophical day.

At the age of 25, I have experienced many challenges throughout my life. My friends have been with me in times of happiness, anger, disappointment and the many facades of life. Being able to spend the good times and bad times together, sharing joys and displeasures. The road has been a better journey as I have these close friends by my side. They have encouraged me when I am down, and sharing the smiles and laughter in happy moments.

In the years of my life, I may have neglected these friends due to my other engagements but they have never left me as our friendship is something that is not physically linked, it is a link of the heart that is not separated by physical barriers. They are always there when I needed to share the good and bad times without any preconditions.

The journey in life may be long and arduous with its many challenge but one could always sail through life with good friends around. With this, I thank you my friends. Let us continue to share the good times and bad times till the end of time!

"The way to sail through life is with good companionship"
James Tan

ECP Trilogy Part 2- Light in darkness

2006-10-23T00:08:00.000+08:00

Moving on to ECP philosophy Part 2

As the night draws near, we had Macdonald take away at a bench facing the shore. As we are eating our dinner, we saw a family lighting sparklers that brighten the dark shore. This scene is so beautiful that I start to see the beauty of the shore in another way. Being philosophical, I began my intellectual fermentation by drawing inference from this scene.

The light in the darkness is the symbolism of hope in times of trouble. Some people could see the light and focus on getting out of the darkness by moving towards the light. Others fail to identify the light as they are too engulfed by darkness.

I remember watching a documentary which shows that a tribesman has actually noticed Christopher Columbus ship anchoring on their shore but his entire fellow tribesman said that there is nothing in the sea. This particular tribesman is so convinced of what he has saw and spent many days looking at the ship to confirm what he has seen. Soon his belief starts to affect some of his fellow tribesman and some begin to be able to notice the ship in the sea.

I am not sure what they call this theory in psychology but I shall try to explain this theory in words (please drop your comments if you know). The tribesman could see the ship because he didn’t limit his thoughts and when he saw an object in the sea, he identified it and confirmed the presence of the object. The other tribesman failed to see the ship because they have never seen a ship and has limited their thoughts into believing that nothing so big could actually float in the sea. This is due to the fact that the brain actually limits ones vision if the person doesn’t believe that a certain thing exist as they have never seen it before.

So what am I trying to infer from this? To me, the ship and the light carry the same idea. The one that didn’t limit his thought, and believing in any possibilities will be able to see what others can’t see. In perspective, one who is in any situation will not be able to identify the solution or see the light as they only focus on the problem and didn’t open their mind to acknowledge that there is a solution. In the end, they got more engulfed by the problem and slump into pessimism.

Identifying the light in darkness sounds simple but most people would rather be engulfed by darkness (the problem) and fail to look at the light (the solution). They are too caught up with the darkness to notice the light. In order to identify the light, the one must first be able to jump out of the emotions associated with the problem and believe that many solutions exist. The next step will be to work on the solutions as knowing without doing is equivalent to not knowing. As you think and work on the solutions, it is paramount to walking towards the light. As you walk closer, the light becomes brighter. Finally you could see all the things around you and all the problems(darkness) will be gone as the solutions have cleared the problem (notice cleared is the same as clear, meaning when there is light, you could see things clearly).

“Never be caught up emotionally by problems, believe that a solution is always present”
James Tan

ECP Trilogy Part 1 - Falling

2006-10-22T23:22:00.000+08:00

Today is a day of massive philosophical fermentation and I shall document 3 philosophies that I have garnered for the day.

A bright and cherry Sunday where the haze doesn’t affect my mode to go blading with my good buddy/sister, we set out to exercise at ECP so as to maintain a healthy lifestyle and catch up with each other. As usual, my dear buddy is late again and so I started blading on my own. As I was blading, I saw the usual “road block” on the road where a couple will be traveling slowly and hogging the whole track. The usual practice is thus to overtake them or be as slow as them. I chose the former and decided to overtake them. However the task is not so simple as they started speeding up a bit as I tried to overtake. I thought that was childish as they seem to be indicating that they don’t like people to overtake and hence I was having trouble doing so. What consequently happened is that the other side of the road came 2 cute 弟弟 who appear before me and without knowing how to emergency brake, I ski to the side and injured my old wound…. again

I went to the side to check the actual damage and found blood gushing from the wound as expected because is a cut on the existing wound. As I see my blood flowing, I was feeling quite angry at the childish couple and also the 2 not so cute 弟弟 now as I felt that they are the cause of my injuries. If only the couples are not so childish and if only the 2弟弟 aren’t so blind….. In the midst of my anger, I decided to rationalize the whole incident.

1- I am the one who decided to overtake
2- I am the one who cant speed up to overtake
3- I am the one who doesn’t know how to control my blades

So who is to be blamed for the incident? After rationalizing it, I came to a conclusion and that is I am the one who caused my own injuries.

Many people always start to point fingers at others when unfortunate things happened to them. They have forgotten that whatever they do that has yielded bad results is not because of the action of others, but it is due to the decision that they make. Another famous excuse is the “if only” statement. If only this didn't happen, if only this people are not there...... Ya if only....

The whole point that I am trying to highlight is to stop blaming others for bad events that have happened to you but take responsibility from your action and learn from it. No doubt bad thing may have happened but instead of blaming others, why not look into what you could have done to prevent it from happening. Those who always blame their mishaps on others will have limited room to improve as they only view the fault as other people’s fault and never see it as their own limitation. One who can’t see their flaws will not be able to improve as they are like ostrich that hides in a hole.

Be brave and acknowledge your own limitation, do something about it and make sure that the same mistake is not repeated. It is just an experience to learn from, just a reason for us to improve ourselves further and be more responsible for our own actions.

So what I will do from now on is
1- Learn to blade faster
2- Learn to control my directions
3- Learn to brake.

If I could accomplish all these 3 things, there is a high chance I will not meet with the same mishap. Hence I would have learnt from my mistakes and be better in blading!

“Take responsibility of your own action and you will be a better person”
James Tan

Reward

2006-10-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

What does reward means to you? Today I receive a reward from my client. It is not a new deal. It is not a referral from them. It is not a lucrative contract. It is none of the above but it means more than any of the above.

In January when the owner of Frost Wine first contacted me, we are confirming the quotation and receiving the brief of their project. Next come the long period of amendments and mock ups that was done with many delays as the work flow get stuck. Today is the concluding day for the project as the site is finally launched and the client wants us to do another design for them. I told them that their current images for the design are not satisfactory and offered to photograph images of their wine bottle for them in good resolution. What we have expected is that they didn’t refuse the extra mile we put in for them but what we didn’t expect is the reward that they have given us.

After taking the photo, my client said “The 2 bottles of wines are for you for the effort you put in to our web site, please savor it with your colleagues” This is the reward that I am talking about. It is not the payment for the job as payment is a fair exchange for the service we have rendered to them. The 2 bottles of wine symbolize appreciation of the work that we have done for them. No doubt they are not very cheap wines but it is not the dollar value of the wine that matters, it is the intrinsic value of the wine that counts.

Left: My Reward and I (Please ignore the extra behind the screeen ^^)

Being in business for close to 1 and a half year, this is the first time that I felt rewarded for the dedication that I have put in to service my client. They have rewarded me not only monetary but also rewarded me with 2 bottles of wine that carries more significant meaning to the term “reward”. This is one of the little things that people can do that to make you know that your effort is worth it. 2 bottles of wine have made my day and let me know that my client actually appreciates my service and go out of the way to reward me. They didn’t treat my service as something that is part of the work scope reflected on the numbers on the cheque, it is an extra value to them as they see the dedication from my company.

These go to show 2 points
1- The reward of your toil will materialize some day, you just have to persevere and believe that your work will one day be appreciated
2- Don’t treat other people’s extra effort for granted. Reward or compliment them if they have go the extra mile for you and you have done a good deed by validating their effort. A pat at the back is always a good motivation and reward for people who deserve it.

So the morale of the story is

“Work hard and go the extra mile as the extra mile is usually the place that is filled with rainbows”

James Tan

Trust

2006-10-19T20:02:00.000+08:00

This thread is started as one of my friends asked me “Do you build trust by giving it or receiving it first?” I replied him with ease that I will always initiate the trust in people first which makes me the giver. It seems like a natural and straight-forward thought to me but the next day when I think about it, this simple question itself holds more complexity than it sounds. Hence I decide to ask around and dedicate one blog topic to discuss this profound issue of trust. A side note is that this topic is meant to be a general discussion and not applied to special individuals and it is just my humble personal thought on this topic but feel free to comment if you disagree!

During the preliminary discussion, I received many similar comments like “Is it the chicken or the egg first?” I understand that this comment is fair as trust is definitely a mutual thing. However unlike the chicken and egg that we will not know which came first since we are not the creator of the chicken or egg, we do know whether we give or received trust first as we will always meet new people and the choice to give or receive trust is something we can decide and know.

First of all, we have to understand what is this thing call trust and why do we need it? By knowing why we need it then could we know why some people give it and some prefer to receive it. Trust is a feeling that is the foundation of any relationship. It is the basic element that must be present when building relationship as only through the presence of trust then could you venture into deeper arena of feelings.

Fear of trust
Trust on people is formed on many levels and the first level of trust we have on someone is usually from what we heard and seen of someone. From then on, it is a step by step exploration as you experience life challenges and builds trust with these individuals. The level of trust is determined by the level of commitment and amount of time spent on building it. The deeper the level of trust, the greater the disappointment when trust is misplaced. The higher the level of trust will also result in a greater fear in giving trust when one has been betrayed before.

As we grow up, we will definitely experience a breach of trust. It is a path that everyone has to take in life. When this happens, people may take different course of action.

Some will start losing trust in people
Some will still have trust but build up their guard in giving it
Some will still face life with optimism

I like to use an analogy for this. A breach of trust is like a virus in a computer that you got from the internet. We will need time to clear the virus but we will definitely protect our computer from getting virus again. Some will install fire wall and anti virus and others can’t be bothered with installing one as they don’t think that they will get the virus again. Of course the more dramatic ones will disconnect from the internet altogether thinking that the internet is filled with virus.
All these reactions are relative to time and experience. If you meet someone early in life who break the trust you have in him, an initial bad experience may make you lose your trust in human altogether. For those who have experienced life knows that trust is not something that is broken very frequently.

Having said this, I was just highlighting one point. We shouldn’t lose the feeling of trusting others. Trust is a door to connect to others and we shouldn’t lose this connection. Yes we should build some guard so that we can guard ourselves but it doesn’t mean not trusting others at all. Giving it sparingly and building it day by day is the way. One betrayal doesn’t mean that it will occur every time, instead focus more on the many people who didn’t betray you. Think of it positively, isn’t it good if you know who is true to you and who is not just by using a trust as an indicator?

Bottom line is that trust is a thing that takes time and effort to build. Personally I feel that since it is so hard to build trust as you go through so many levels to build it, why do you want to break it because of small gains that are transient. Uphold the highest integrity. Trust is a thing that you should not fear and betrayal is a positive occurrence as it filters away the unworthy.

“Trust is build with time, and can be broken with one wrong action
Fragile as it is, hence the more we should treasure it”
James Tan

Starwalker

2006-10-18T20:42:00.000+08:00

Today is the day I bought my first Mount Blanc pen! The name of the pen is called Starwalker.

The main idea of the blog is on philosophy and I am not going to divert from the style of this blog. This will be a blog of philosophy together with the blog of life.

"The first step into the future begins in the present
Meeting new challenges and realizing visions means breaking new ground,
But without compromising one's root"

This quote is about the Starwalker. It signifies a dream of the future that is carved from the present with new challenges ahead and new grounds to break. In the quest for a new beginning and a new future, one must not forget one's philosophy and the building block of your success.

Beauty in the quote, inspiring it is.

Starwalker itself has another meaning to me

Star - Symbolizing a wish
Walker - Idea of continuity, advancement

From the 2 words, many meanings start to spur to me

Star always carry the meaning of a wish or a dream. A dream is something that everyone should have. A walker is someone that doesn't stop, who keeps pushing on and never quits. It carries the meaning of perseverance and determination. How veritable is the meaning of a Starwalker to me at this stage of life! I carry a dream that I should pursue, a walker I am that will press on with perseverance, and equipped with determination to realize his dream. No challenges shall daunt me as I am the Starwalker who walk on my dream and realizing the dream step by step as I walk towards accomplishing it. I am never far from it as I am walking on it, it is a journey that I will one day complete.

What I am trying to say is that one should always pursue his or her dream by walking on it, realizing it with every move you take. The dream is never far off if you are walking on it, it is just that you haven’t finished the whole journey.

I am a starwalker and I hope that everyone around me are a starwalker too.

“Success goes to those that keeps moving towards their dreams”
James Tan

A summary

2006-09-21T20:55:00.000+08:00

Wow not bad at all, I have written 5 philosophies in a month! I am really glad that I have started blogging as I begin to record philosophies that build my personalities. The more I write the better entrenched I am in my guiding philosophies. This blog has also allowed me to be more active in the search for a more positive attitude in life, crossing challenges as they come!

However this post is a tribute to all the readers of my blog, some of which has read and written some comments and some of which has read and msn me to say that my philosophies are interesting and mind enriching. Thank you my readers for the encouragement and giving me the honor for being able to share my thoughts with all you nice people ^^.

But there are a few things that I hope that I could see more from this nice readers

1- Please feel free to object to what I had written as different perspectives actually challenge and improve these philosophies

2- If you like what you see and would like to add on, please feel free to comment and add on!

3- If you have any related topics and would like to discuss it with me, please feel free to msn me =D. I am more than happpy to discuss philosophies of life

Hence hope that we can make this blog a more interactive one!!!
Please stay tune to the next blog topic- Trust- is it given or received?

"Success is packaged with many failures that are turned into experiences "

Fire in the eyes

2006-09-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

Actually this post is written on 15th September but was just completed today as the finishing touches was delayed. So here it is, my thoughts on 15th September!

One good day after another, today is another day of discovery as I went for a networking session and met the founder of NYDC and 77th Street. During the session, the director of NYDC, Sam, mentioned one key point that becomes the blog topic for today
- The Fire in the Eyes

Many great leaders have emerged in the history of man kind. Figures like George Washington, Mohd Gandhi and Franklin Roosevelt are great leaders that we will not forget. Looking at our own country, we have Mr Lee Kuan Yew, our senior minister and the great leader that rally Singaporean fighting spirit to make Singapore a thriving nation. All these leaders have charisma that convinces people of their philosophy and could influence thousands and even millions of people to believe in their cause. What is it in them that give them such charisma and influence? Is it the wonderful speech that they made? Or are they extraordinarily suave and handsome? Or is it their demeanor that allows them to capture the trust of the people? All these could be a factor but to me, it is the passion and conviction that they held that was exemplified through the eyes with strong determination and vision.

The eye is the window to the soul. The eyes that demonstrate such unwavering conviction as they gave their speech, the fiery passion that shows no doubt about the future they could bring and the piercing look that will kill all challenges. All in all, the fiery eyes that don’t lack passion but are charged with determination and a strong will to fight the challenges posed by life.

What has all these got to do with business? Sam mentioned that venture capitalist (VC) will only invest in a business project if they see the following things
1- High returns
2- Good business plan
3- All else being equal, which person has the fire in the eye

In order to obtain the trust of these VCs, the person pitching for his business idea must have the strong conviction in what they are going to do. All these can be shown through the look in their eyes that reveal the amount of passion that each individual hold. The passion in turn translate into a will to make sure that the business plan, that have been decided and planned for, will be completed.

Apart from VCs, the fire in the eye is crucial in business as anyone without the fire in the eye will not be able to prosper in business. A big and successful business model does not exist with just the power of a single person. It is a team work fostered by many capable individuals that will strengthen the foundation of a business model and gradually pushes the business to higher ground. However the business is not possible if there isn’t a person that has the charisma that could win the trust of these capable people and gather them to work under a common cause. The fire in the eye, that carries conviction, could win the trust of the people. It will gradually build the business as the person with such passion will start winning more business partners, associates and clients that will further his cause to build a business empire.

All in all, fire in the eye is a passion from the heart. A deep passion will be able to led you to the deepest valley and climb the highest mountain with sheer determination, fortitude and not forgetting the fire in the eye.

A burning passion melts all failures!

The split second that determines success

2006-09-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

Have someone ever told you that action is determined by a split second thought? Just recently, I saw an interview on a successful person and he mentioned that he will try to exercise when he has the time but there will always be this split second thought that will persuade his mind to just relax and laze instead of going for the exercise.

This is actually just a small incident in his life that actually carries a lot of philosophy in my perspective. Most of the people in the world actually face the same kind of challenge day in and day out of their life. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t just lies in these small little decisions that they take in their life. For those who usually choose the easy way out and decided just to laze away their time rather than choosing to do something that is positive and meaningful, these people will usually take a downward spiral into making more and more decisions that will not enhance their learning curve. For the successful, they will battle the lazy thought and decide to engage in the more enriching activities rather than lazing around and never improving themselves.

A simple decision on whether to jog when you are feeling a little tired is concluded within seconds. The split second thought that always sprung up in anyone’s mind which acts as the devil advocate to dissuade one from engaging in meaningful acts and slumber into unproductive activities. The successful will dismiss the thought with more positive reasons to jog and the unsuccessful will find more reasons not to jog. Frequent exercise like this actually condition the brain of an individual into a set of action that will segregate the successful from the unsuccessful. As you say more “Yes!” to positive activities, your mind start to be more trained and your determination to complete meaningful tasks is strengthen. You improve everyday as you enrich your life and with everyday, you are moving ahead of others further and further apart. Finally, you are away from the pack and will accomplish your success. For those who frequent “No…” they will be the same person everyday and will not improve much as time progresses.

Split second thought like these are actually challenges with the intention of phasing out the weak minded from the strong and great mind. Just like any test in life, success has its ways of filtering its candidate that deserves it and this is just one of the crucial minor tests that make the big difference. Most of the people seem to know it but fail to practice it. My usual practice is to engage in more positive thoughts that encourage my mind to accomplish something meaningful rather than laze around. As I say more “Yes” to positive acts, my conditioning will strengthen and a positive spiral will ensue that will exponentially increase my will to improve myself.

In addition, I have found the second way to overcome this split second negative thoughts. The second way is also the finishing touches that I was seeking for this blog topic. It is the journey to Changi prison that strengthens my philosophy to tackle the split second negativity that will lead to laziness. Today is no other days, it is another meaningful day that has improved my philosophy and shift my learning curve. To summarize the day, my business partners and I visited Changi prison today to look at the multimedia design that the prisoners there are capable of. The whole event is an eye opener as we see that prison life isn’t what we see in television. The prisoners who did the design have impressive design knowledge and work. They are well-articulated, cultured and I felt that I was talking to businessman instead of prisoners. A disclaimer though is that I am not saying that all of them are talented like the prisoners we have seen but these prisoners that I have seen actually bring out a important point- those who have done mistakes before can redeem themselves if they are willing to.

So what has this got to do with the topic nature? Allow me to elaborate further. As we go through the rooms seeing these prisoners work, we engage in conversation with them and found out that most of them has no prior knowledge on design. They have acquired all their knowledge through volunteers who taught them how to design and also through books that they have read in prison. Looking back at ourselves, are we wasting our time lazing around rather than doing something meaningful during our free time? Do we live in a more conducive environment than them to pursue knowledge? Psychologically speaking, are we under social scrutiny that stereotypes us as failures in life which demoralizes us from improving? If your answer is none or some of the above, your life is definitely better than these prisoners and if they are trying to accept their mistakes and stand up to make a difference in their life through self-improvement, what kind of excuses do we have to dissuade ourselves from improving?

If you are in your comfort zone and does not seek to improve, look at these people who wish for a chance for people to recognize their will to improve but was not given a chance. With our advantage in life, shouldn’t we be more motivated to improve rather than give in to laziness? Negative split second thought seems to pale under such compelling philosophy.

Well I shall leave the thoughts to you but I have found my answer today. Hope that you could find some answers to kill the split second thoughts that dissuade your personal improvement after reading my philosophy or maybe in due time to come.

“Success goes to those that seeks to make the difference everyday of their life”
James Tan

Business philosophy- The power of networking

2006-09-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

Today is BNI awards night and I am honored to be there as a member of Abundance chapter. This night is a meaningful night as 1 year into business, I start to understand why networking is so crucial in business.

The day begins late as I catch up with my sleep after a 5 day of battle in business. I thought it will be a good resting day where I could rest my mind and laze around until I realize that it is awards night today!!! In my mind came these thoughts "Oh it is another day where I have to meet business people and go around networking... again. It is a weekend for goodness sake... cant I have a rest after 5 days of business... " That was the immediate thought that came to my mind seconds after I realize that I have to go for yet another BNI meeting. Negative thoughts that will soon change by the end of the day!

The time comes and I head on down with my most relax attire in any BNi event. Dressed in a semi-formal collar short sleeve shirt and pants, I arrive at Le Meridien hotel, then came the night of philosophical realization. After entering the lift to the function room, the lift stop at mid-level and a lady came in. I immediately realize that this lady is from Infinity chapter and told her "Hi you are going to BNI awards night right?" She was in a semi stunt state as she didn't expect me to know her. Then we began chatting on our way to the function room. As I reach the function room, I was greeted by my chapter member and a mentoring director that I have spoken to long time ago. The mentoring director immediately recognize me and said "Hi James, how are you?" Now it is my turn to be stunt as I didn't expect her to remember me and further more remember my name! Then came a series of stunning events.

After the registration I began the normal business routine of networking. As I walk into the crowd, I start seeing many familiar faces and many people that I talked to before began saying hi to me. Some of which I had only vague impression and conversation with them but most of them remember me and my name =). I start to realize that I actually do know quite a number of people, and most of the mentoring director in BNI as they came and said "Hi James, how's business?" Throughout the event, I am seeing and chatting with new people, some heard of, some talked over the phone and some that I was shock that they still remembered me.

After the event is over, numerous thoughts start pouring into my mind. What a day this is! I start to finally see the result of my networking 1 year into my business. All along I thought that networking is a tedious chore and sometimes I felt really tired to start knowing different people anew many times over. But today at the Awards Night, I see the seed of networking sprouting from my 1 year anniversary of networking. The amount of people that I know during my 1 year of networking finally give me the result in physical form. That is recognition, exposure, friendship and definitely satisfaction as you realize the number of business people that you actually know in the world of business

If you are not networking then you are not working. This is more apparent to me after tonight. As my business grow and referrals came from numerous sources, I was asking myself why is that so? Today one of the major reason appears, that is, the number of business man you know dictates the amount of money you can earn. This is true as your contact sphere grows, the amount of business opportunities grow with it. As more business people say "hi, how's business?" to you in a networking session, the more your business will grow. I know that I am not an outstanding networker and in the Awards night itself, I seen these outstanding networker shine brightly among the crowd. These are the business man that will be noticed and have the numerous opportunities waiting for them!

25 years into my life and I get to see so much of the business world and know so many business people is really an experience I truely treasure. There are some who are of the same age and perhaps younger than me that have achieved much more than I do. But I know that I am already very fortunate to be able to sail through the business world to see the ups and downs, strategies and techniques, salesmanship and networking and many many more valuable learning experiences in business. I value all these business experience and after this particular night, I felt that my road to business success is once again clear as I have a new paradigm of thought on business that makes me take a new step nearer to success!

Having recruited the essence of networking, I have figured out a few things.
1- Go for more networking session and know more people. Be a better networker!
2- Know new networking venues
3- Felt more entrenched into the world of networking and business.
4- Faith is stronger and preserverence is paying off
5- The road to success will come!

Signing off as the night ends but a new day of surprises and opportunities begin another day. Ending with my personal quote,

"One could live 10 years and still be in the same learning curve in life 10 years ago, but all it takes is just one meaningful day or moment to make you mature 10 years in life experience"

Angel in hell (Part 2)- How does Angel live well in hell

2006-08-19T23:07:00.000+08:00

Here is a continuation of Part 1, there may be consequtive parts coming in at later stages as I find new ideas to substantiate this philosophy so I decided to name it in parts in order to keep track of the posting.

How does Angel live well in hell?
This question is constantly being replayed in my mind as I witness numerous kind souls that I know being disappointed time and again from the result of being kind in the wrong way.

How many times have we been nice and end up being not appreciated? A question that I know many people ponder on. It seems like being kind is an art as you can't dispense kindness too readily or you will be taken for granted. From this question comes the topic, kind people need to know how to be kind and make sure that their kindness is not being taken for granted as the world is filled with people who are still learning to appreciate things.

The answer I personally feel comes from being able to perform some cruelty to be kind. Some of you may have tried to be nice to a certain someone but ends up being treated coldly and unappreciated. This is due to the fact that people don't like things that are freely available. Diamonds are expensive because they are rare. Given the same condition, if we live on a planet with many diamonds lying around, would you still value it highly? This is a simple demand and supply logic as too much supply of a goods usually comes with a cheapening of the product, if the demand isn't keeping up with the supply.

Feeling is a gradual build up and demand for kindness is a kind of feeling that doesn't rise fast. If you supply too much kindness to anyone who can't take it, you are cheapening yourself and end up being not appreciated. Yes you are just being nice but it is a pity that the other party doesn't need so much kindness. In order for angels, who wants to be kind, to survive in a world filled with not very appreciative people, they must learn to be cruel to be kind. Learn to control the amount of kindness that you are dispensing. A shortage of kindness will increase its value and when supply of it comes, the consumer will be able to value and appreciate more of its prescence.

Being cruel is to be able to stop giving kindness when someone's demand for it is just mild. Await the person to increase his or her demand before dispensing it bit by bit to increase the value of kindness itself. This is on condition that you know that deep in you, you wanted the person to feel appreciative of what you are doing so that your kindness will be received with open arms rather than down the rubbish bin. Being an angel is to be able to provide effective kindness rather than flooding others with kindness which will eventually drown everyone's feelings.

As angel in hell, to live well is to be able to know that we are giving kindness that is appreciated and understood. Excessive kindness is unappreciated kindness. Angels' first purpose in hell is to make sure that the kindness is being appreciated and understood and not just plainly flooding hell with un-needed kindness. You will end up being a unappreciated and irritating angel by others. When you start to question why no one appreciates your kindness and blame the world, pause and instead start to point the finger back and understand that you are the one who is at fault for not being able to spread your kindness effectively.

Well that's enough blogging for now, stay tune for Part III!!!

The beginning

2006-08-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

Woah my first post! Witness the birth of my philosophy as I start blogging! Well the purpose of the blog is to let me be diligent enough to write down the philosophy I have on life through my daily experiences as I need to document this philosophy and never let them be lost as they slip from my mind.

Hope that some of you could benefit from reading my philosophy! I really have to thank Chris and Yaoming (my business partner) for suggesting to me to blog and when I have gathered all the philosophy in my life, I may be able to write a book of philosophy (if people find it useful)

As the first blog, I shall start my first philosophy in life, Angel in hell I have always wonder who or what is the best soul on this earth? This has always been in my mind and through my growing experience, I start to have an answer- The Angel in Hell is definitely the ultimate good on this earth that I aspire to be. Rationale being, an angel in heaven is so used to being good and they only meet angels who are good. To them, there is no temptation of being bad as they are surrounded by the kind angels. How could someone know what is good if they haven't live through the bad. To be more specific, how could someone know the importance of water if they haven't been thirsty before.

If an Angel can still maintain their goodness in hell after they have seen various vices being displayed as the norm day in day out, it is definitely equipped with the necessary goodness that is not swayed by the environment. The ultimate temptation will not change its faith neither would it be affected. Angel in hell must understand the habit of the evil and even adopt some of the habit (so long as they are not the ultimate evil). By being part of their group then could you start to affect them and let them trust your philosophy of goodness.

Why is this the highest attainment to me then? It is because I think that someone could not teach others how not to be bad if they did not try such vices before. To me the person who could understand what is ultimate good are those that have forsaken the ultimate evil in them. The highest attainment is to convert those around them to be filled with goodness too. To do that they need to understand the bad habits and live with this habits. Only then could they know why are these habits really bad and how could they kick these habits together. In psychology, if you are the "In Group" of any social group, you could be more persuasive and attain a higher level of trust. Only then could you be able to influence the evil around you and let the evil adopt your philosophy of good.

It doesn't matter what way you use to attain the result so long as it is for the greater good.

In Christianity- We have Moses who killed the Egytians for the greater good
In Buddhism- We have Ji Gong who eat meat even though he is a monk

There may be many instances where the good have to commit something bad in order to achieve the greater good. These examples are the amplification of how the good can maintain their fundamental goodness when they have committed something evil so as to achieve the final motive, that is, to achieve the greater good. Good and evil has no demarcation line, they are only clearly divided when you have a trained soul.

Well this blog topic is getting too long for a day, let me furnish the readers with more example of why I aspire to be an Angel in hell in my next blog. Stay tuned!

Cheers!