Opinions- to seek or not to seek
Everyone has their set of challenges and each has their own way to solve it. Some will seek the opinions of others and some will stick to their own solutions without listening for other people’s opinion.
In one of the episode of the apprentice (can’t remember which one in specific), Donald Trump fired the leader of the losing team simply because he wasted time garnering decisions via voting. To Donald Trump, a leader leads and doesn’t need a vote for opinions, all the leader has to do is to choose a course of action and the team members(followers) will refine the idea and support it. However what is a team if the team acts on the command and decisions of just a single person?
There are also cases of people who don’t like listening to what other people have to offer. They only like their own decisions and don’t care what other people think about it. These people will usually appear to be unfriendly and self-centered. So the best leader will be one with solutions and still listen to the team to enhance the solutions.
Seems pretty clear cut that this is the way in work but does it work in personal life? When faced with problems, do you ask people who matter to you for their opinions so that they could play a part in your life or do you just box yourself with the problem and constrain the problem to yourself? Neither seems right and balance is the key in my perspective.
Yes, people will start responding to your problem initially by enthusiastically looking for solutions for you. However as you start pouring your mountains of problem on them to ask for their opinions, they will start to feel irritated and feel that you are problematic. If you don’t share your problems and box yourself up, you will distance yourself from others as they find it hard to understand you as you have boxed up your troubles and feelings.
Now this is tricky. I feel that the way to balance this issue is to share your problems with people that matters to you, but share it wisely. Without a doubt you should share your daily problems and experiences with people but don’t start pouring your problems onto them as they are humans and have their own sets of problem too. The way to do it, in my perspective is to share your problems but only when you have the solutions yourself. In this way, you are sharing your problems and feelings, and not imposing on others to solve your problems. People don’t like to listen to mountains of problems unless you have the solutions. With solution in mind while discussing problem, it becomes an educating process instead of a torturous one. The person listening to it may even add on to the solution and eagerly participate in solving the problem.
Then again, the best situation is not to share only the problem but also the interesting things that happened in a day so that any conversation will not be always gloomy. If there is a problem that needs to be solved, look for a solution before discussing it. And please solve the problem after the discussion and don’t repeatedly discuss the same problem or else it will still create irritations in the long run.
This solution appears to me as being too hard to accept at first as I felt that why can’t I share my problem with these people and solve it together with them? In this case, aren’t I letting them participate in my life? Then I rationalize it and understand that sharing problems doesn’t mean imposing it on others, be considerate to these people as they matters. Don’t throw your mountains of grievances on them and crushed them.
“Problem are best discussed with solutions already in hand”
James Tan
In one of the episode of the apprentice (can’t remember which one in specific), Donald Trump fired the leader of the losing team simply because he wasted time garnering decisions via voting. To Donald Trump, a leader leads and doesn’t need a vote for opinions, all the leader has to do is to choose a course of action and the team members(followers) will refine the idea and support it. However what is a team if the team acts on the command and decisions of just a single person?
There are also cases of people who don’t like listening to what other people have to offer. They only like their own decisions and don’t care what other people think about it. These people will usually appear to be unfriendly and self-centered. So the best leader will be one with solutions and still listen to the team to enhance the solutions.
Seems pretty clear cut that this is the way in work but does it work in personal life? When faced with problems, do you ask people who matter to you for their opinions so that they could play a part in your life or do you just box yourself with the problem and constrain the problem to yourself? Neither seems right and balance is the key in my perspective.
Yes, people will start responding to your problem initially by enthusiastically looking for solutions for you. However as you start pouring your mountains of problem on them to ask for their opinions, they will start to feel irritated and feel that you are problematic. If you don’t share your problems and box yourself up, you will distance yourself from others as they find it hard to understand you as you have boxed up your troubles and feelings.
Now this is tricky. I feel that the way to balance this issue is to share your problems with people that matters to you, but share it wisely. Without a doubt you should share your daily problems and experiences with people but don’t start pouring your problems onto them as they are humans and have their own sets of problem too. The way to do it, in my perspective is to share your problems but only when you have the solutions yourself. In this way, you are sharing your problems and feelings, and not imposing on others to solve your problems. People don’t like to listen to mountains of problems unless you have the solutions. With solution in mind while discussing problem, it becomes an educating process instead of a torturous one. The person listening to it may even add on to the solution and eagerly participate in solving the problem.
Then again, the best situation is not to share only the problem but also the interesting things that happened in a day so that any conversation will not be always gloomy. If there is a problem that needs to be solved, look for a solution before discussing it. And please solve the problem after the discussion and don’t repeatedly discuss the same problem or else it will still create irritations in the long run.
This solution appears to me as being too hard to accept at first as I felt that why can’t I share my problem with these people and solve it together with them? In this case, aren’t I letting them participate in my life? Then I rationalize it and understand that sharing problems doesn’t mean imposing it on others, be considerate to these people as they matters. Don’t throw your mountains of grievances on them and crushed them.
“Problem are best discussed with solutions already in hand”
James Tan
posted by James at 1:52 AM
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