Ice & Fire

You might have heard of the phrase 水火不相容- a Chinese saying that means fire and water can never mixed. But today through a conversation with a lady, I have realized that water and fire can mix and hence ice and fire can mix too. Before you think that I am going to talk about physics, let me assure you that I am trying to drive home a message.

To begin, let me just explain how ice and fire can mix and become one. When you put an ice beside a fire, the ice will start to melt under the heat of the fire. The melting ice will transform into water that will extinguish the fire. If you think that is the end of the story, it is not. As the water, upon touching the fire, will vaporize and the fire upon being extinguished by the water will turn into smoke.

Fire being formless and just a state of energy, ice and water being a matter with a form, both being different state of being can therefore exist under a single gaseous state when they start affecting each other.

So what message am I trying to drive at? Actually this simple “science experiment” is synonymous to how human relationship works. It actually highlights the following points

- Human relationship changes when 2 person interact with each other (Ice to water to vapor, fire to smoke)
- No state in a human relationship is permanent and relationship changes over time with interactions (Ice melts over time)
- All humans despite their difference in character can seek a common point of understanding and existence when a consensus is made (ice and fire being different state can become one common gaseous form)

And what this is trying to tell us is that some people might think that they can never co-exist with other people that are different from them. They choose to stay away from them and have pre-conceived notion that they can never communicate with such people. I would view otherwise regarding such perception. The conflict happens because there are differences between 2 persons and the conflict continue to exist because there is no conscious effort to resolve the issue. And to add on, communications is bilateral and most people thought that they are communicating when they are talking with others, but in actual fact they are just talking but not listening to what the other person is trying to say. Hence no interaction happens and nothing is resolved.

Conflict happens because there are differences in people and not because of the issue on hand. And the way to resolve the conflict is not to hide from it, quarrels might be necessary and temporal discontent might ensue as the differing opinions of each individuals is being put across. These are all normal proceedings but what is important is in resolving the differences and seeking a common understanding after all views have been put across. It is about understanding and respecting the fact that everyone is different in their own way. And through the understanding of these facts, to seek a common understanding that can respect the differences and work out a platform where both individual can co-exist.

Avoidance is not the key to better human relationship, interactions are. Ice did not melt because it shuns fire, as much as it doesn’t like to lose its form, it is necessary for it to give way before it can melt into water that will in turn extinguish the fire. If 2 individuals do not intend to interact and give in, still wishing to maintain a tough stance, it is the same as ice not wanting to melt and hence no change can ever happen.

Hence as long as 2 persons are willing to put in the effort to understand each other differences and wish to seek a consensus maturely, conflicts are sometimes necessary and might even be a good prescription in enhancing human relationship with others. The ingredient for the prescription will include maturity, understanding, respect and most importantly, courage to face the conflict instead of running away from it.

So if there is someone who tells you he or she is a block of ice that is unmoved by things around them, kindly inform them you are one fiery flame that can melt any ice and can co-exist with ice on a higher form =)

P.S: I will melt ice VO_O

“Co-existence is possible between ice and fire with proper interaction”
~ James Tan ~