Quarrel is positive =)

This blog post is written for my dear Ms Lee KT who has causes much upheaval in my life making it exciting with its fair share of happiness and anger =). Although I am a peace loving person that hates to quarrel but I have really learn from KT that quarreling does not equate bad.

Constructive quarrel do bring out the discontentment in people that they otherwise will bottle up in their heart. Only when the resentment in one’s heart is shared with the person who causes it will it solve the problem. If not it will just be grievances that stays in a person or hovering around the person’s friend that sometimes magnify the grievances.

Being with KT let me understand that quarreling can be a good thing. It does not really have to turn ugly or bad if both person are able to handle it maturely after the quarrel is done. Maturity and understanding is important as if these 2 ingredients are not in place, things might just gone from bad to worse after the quarrel. And 2 ingredients will bring the relationship to a higher positive platform and they are- forgiveness and improvement. All these 4 ingredients allow a quarrel to turn positive as all negativity are let out and the people involved are allowed to improve through forgiveness and seeking improvements from their natural human flaws =)

Much as I don’t like the notion of quarreling with people but I believe that there is an art behind it that enhances the relationship in between people after the conflict is resolved. Quarreling might not be a negative thing as sometimes human being learn better through mistakes that is being “reminded” strongly from other person through quarrels. Sometimes quarrel is necessary for people to learn mutual respect and also allow each person to let off their most negative self before they can cool down and be positive about things.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to advocate people to start quarreling every time when they have differences. Showing utmost patience and understanding without losing anger is also a vital skill. However not everything works when you try to settle things peacefully. And definitely all things fall apart when you quarrel often with others as you will just be a spitfire that don’t understand logic and don’t seek to talk amicably with others. What I believe is in the balance of being understanding and patient most of the time but quarrel tactfully when necessary to get your point across if the other person simply cannot understand through peaceful means.

However I do have to state a disclaimer, Ms Lee KT, I am not advocating us to quarrel often hoh. For you, you must learn to be more patient and for me I must learn to quarrel tactfully as we are 2 persons of the extreme and must learn to balance. Always remember our motto k- always stay balanced =D. We might have our respective differences like all humans do, but let’s work towards ironing it out and sometimes “quarreling” it out so that we will learn to respect and know each other more in a positive manner bah ^^

“Quarrel is a negative word that can yield positive results sometimes”
~ James Tan ~

Wave

I was at East Coast last evening and it is fascinating how the sun, the sand and the sea can always give me inspiration to write philosophy. Being there also let me feel how much I have missed the time I reflected at the beach. Watching the wave tapping on the shore, seeing the sun set and watching people blading and cycling. The whole experience is just so peaceful and nice =)

As I was strolling the beach and watch the wave, I was inspired to write about the waves. Looking at how each wave reaches the shore, we know that each wave has its own potential. Depending on the strength and timing the wave arrive at the shore, each wave stretches on a different length onto the beach. But all the waves at one point of time can never stretch further than a certain limit as it has limited potential.

Wave in this sense is just like humans. Confine by their potential at one point of time and limited in the area they can extend their reach. They can never extend further than its potential allows. However human potential is limited only in the short run, their potential expands in the long run just like high tide and low tide, it is just timing =).

Hence each person developed at their individual pace just like the waves. Some goes stronger while others surges lightly. There will also be the exception of people who crashes into the shore like tsunami which greatly extends their potential. Some likes to be the gentle shore that will enjoy the peace and tranquility, never being too adventurous and will just be happy with their lot. Some likes to ride the torrent waves which gives them adrenaline rush.

My balance would be to do radical overhauls at some period and maintaining a stable pace at others. Crashing like a tsunami surges you forward in a fast manner but paces like these comes with its sacrifice. And most of the time, things happen too fast for you to be able to limit your loses and maybe sacrificing things that you really treasured without being able to control it. We know a tsunami destroy houses and also kill sea creatures under the sea. Perhaps the houses and sea creatures that are sacrifice represent your good personality and the people around you? Are they ready for the tsunami of change that you are dishing out to them consistently? However being comfortable is also like staying in dead water that will kill you softly too.

Some events might make us decide to create a tsunami of change in our life but we have to control our direction well and not bring unnecessary damages our own personality and the life of people around us. And positive destruction is necessary to be rid of the negative things in your life in order to make room for the creation of more positive energy in the limited space in you which has unlimited potential

“Be a tsunami that destroys the bad”
~ James Tan ~